Papa Tonton

If a poll were conducted on who is the Most Ideal Showbiz Family, I’m sure Tonton Gutierrez and Glydel Mercado would win hands down.

With their daughters Aneeza (turning 10 in July, now in Grade 5) and Aneeka (turning three in November), the couple has been leading a quiet life, so self-contained that they hardly show themselves in public, the rare one was a few weeks ago when they appeared as guest on Ryzza Mae Dizon’s GMA show.

You haven’t heard any unsavory rumor about the couple, have you? Unlike some showbiz couples who wash their dirty linen in public, Tonton and Glydel know how to draw a line between their public life and their private life. Maybe they do fight (but not so seriously); which couple doesn’t? But they keep it within the confines of their bedroom, not within the kids’ earshot.

One thing they have in common is growing up without a father figure. The son of Eddie Gutierrez, Tonton was raised by his mom Liza Lorena who acted both as mom and dad; and Glydel by her mom.

They got married in 2004 after living together for six years. Today being Father’s Day, Conversations tapped Tonton for a special feature, the first time he agreed to open up about his family life.

How are you as a father?

“Well, I would say that I am an average father. Kahit papano, nagagawa ko ang responsibility ko as a padre de familia.”

And as a husband?

“Ganoon din po; I’m an average husband. I also attend to the needs of Glydel. Sa tingin ko, mabait naman po akong asawa, hehehehe! I don’t give her problems or headaches.”

(Teasing) Faithful to one?

“Opo!”

Faithful to one at a time?

“Yes, to my one and only wife.”

Who between you and Glydel is the disciplinarian?

“We are both disciplinarian. We try to give them the best guidance.”

How do you discipline your daughters?

“For example, if they commit mistakes, we tell them not to do that because it’s wrong. We teach them how to say ‘po’ and ‘opo,’ and to respect people.”

Are you the spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child type of parent?

“Well, there are instances when we use the rod, so to speak, pero very mild lang. Minsan kasi, kailangan silang magtanda. You know how kids are, they tend to be hard-headed, eh. Not really spanking. I just show them a slipper or a belt and ask them, ‘O, you want this?’ Ganoon lang; hindi ko naman itinutuloy. But it very seldom happens.”

Some parents hide in the room after giving their kids a little spanking and cry in secret. Are you like that?

“Yes, I am. When it happens and I see them cry, napapaiyak din ako but I don’t show it to them. After an hour, I explain to them why I have to do it, the mild spanking.”

Who between you and Glydel is the spoiler?

“Both of us are. For example, when we are in the mall and they want something, it’s hard to turn them down. Mga girls kasi, eh. ‘Daddy, I want this, I want that!’ And it’s hard to say no to them. Si Ate Aneeza, kung ano ang makita niya sa kaklase niya, ‘yon din ang gusto niya. I would tell her, ‘You have so many toys already.’ Oftentimes, they play with their toys for two days or one week and after that, they want new ones. I explain to the older one that we don’t have to make gaya-gaya their friends, but if she really wants it or needs it, we’ll buy it for you. Pero kapag sumama na ang mukha, hindi ko na matiis. So sige, buy!”

You’re very busy with shoots and tapings. What day do you set aside for your family?

“Although we are with the kids practically every day of the week, we set aside Sundays as our family days. Glydel and I make sure that we don’t schedule shoots on those days, except when there are urgent projects to finish. I request Nanay Lolit (Solis), my manager, to schedule my shoots on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; and Glydel on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.”

How do you spend Sundays?

“We go to Mass. Sometimes, we watch movies. Mga pambatang pelikula. If I don’t have work on a weekday, ipinapasyal ko si Ate Aneeza. We go to the mall after her school.”

Are you bringing up your kids the way you were brought up?

“Yes. Kaya lang in my case, also in the case of Glydel, I grew up without a father figure. So in a way, iba ang style ng pagpapalaki namin sa aming mga anak sa kung paano kami lumaki. I always tell myself that what I had been through was not really a bad experience — you know, that my mom and my dad were not together. I always remember that I grew up, as I just said, without a father figure. So I will do everything that I can within my powers to have a family na buo.”

Any fatherly advice from Daddy Eddie?

“My dad is very cool. Kahit may giyera na sa tabi niya, cool pa rin siya. He always reminds me to be strong and not to let problems get me down, that problems are part of life, that while you keep on looking for solutions to your problems, you can’t seem to find them. He reminds me to keep my cool, let things go, and sooner or later the solutions will come…in due time. Of course, he keeps reminding me to be God-fearing and to stay away from vices, lahat ng klaseng vices.”

During your growing-up years, Daddy Eddie was living in the States with his wife Annabelle Rama and three of their little children at that time. When did you first meet your dad?

“Actually, my dad would visit me at home when I was small. In the early ‘70s, my lola, my aunt and I stayed in Baguio for two years and that’s where I first studied. I remember in 1972, when I was four years old, my dad and Tita Annabelle would fetch me. We came back to Manila after a few years and I studied naman at Brent School. And then, we went back to Baguio. I don’t know why we kept on going back to Baguio.”

Liza was your mom and dad at the same time. How was she?

“My mom was very young when she had me. Wala pa yata siyang 20 n’un. And she was already working in showbiz, always busy, so I was mostly in the care of my lola. When I was young, I didn’t understand why my mom was always away, always away. Medyo nagkaroon ako ng konting tampo sa kanya. But as I grew older and I started working, I understood why. It was part of growing up pala.”

You have several half-siblings (Ramon Christopher, Eddie’s son with Pilita Corrales; and Eddie’s six children with Annabelle). Are you close to all of them?

“Yes, we are very close. In fact, when they have family gatherings, I would attend because Tita Annabelle would invite Monching and me. (Like this afternoon when Tonton will act as one of the almost 50 godparents in the christening of Zion, son of Richard Gutierrez and Sarah Lahbati. — RFL) Monching and I are very close. We became close when he and Lotlot (de Leon) got married (which has since been annulled). We go out once in a while, watch basketball once in a while. We text each other, ‘O, Bro, kumusta ka na? Love you, ingat!’ Ganyan. I’m just as close to Ruffa, Richard, Raymond, Elvis, Rocky and Ritchie Paul.”

How many more kids do you and Glydel want to have?

“Two are enough already. I’m already 46. We had Aneeza when I was 35. So I said, it might be unfair to the little one, if we had another one, na baka hindi ko na maalagaan. Time will come when I will be retiring and relaxing.”

By the way, how is Glydel as a wife?

“She’s the best. She‘s like Tita Annabelle. Pareho silang matapang, kasi pareho silang Bisaya, hehehehe!” (Annabelle is Cebuana and Glydel is Waray. — RFL)

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