Although he will never experience the joy of feeling the movements of a baby inside the womb, or the difficulties a woman undergoes, this is not an excuse for him to leave everything to his wife. Pregnancy is hard work.
Below are some tips would-be fathers should remember when their wives are expecting. They are helpful snippets of ideas from What to Expect When You’re Expecting, A Holistic Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth, Motherhood and Baby Love.
1. Just be with her. Being by her side is a reassuring gift you can give her.
2. Spare some time to go to her doctor’s appointments. Lending your hand is enough warmth for her cold hand. If you are nervous, pretend you’re not.
3. Make her laugh. It increases tolerance for pain and lowers production of stress.
4. Let her relax. Excuse her from chores that will overextend herself. This will help her bring a healthy baby into the world.
5. Have a little romantic time with her. Turn off the lights, the TV, the phones and even your mouths. Just be aware of each other. Gently touch her from head to toes. Together, simply breathe in and out till it fills your souls.
6. Be patient. If patience is a virtue, you will have to be virtuous for the rest of her pregnancy. Mood swings are temporary conditions anyway.
7. Talk. Both of you should talk and listen to each other’s feelings. This sharing can help you bond stronger. Also talk to your baby and touch your wife’s naked abdomen for a few minutes each day.
8. Act pregnant. Do pregnancy exercises with her. Avoid junk foods, cigarettes and alcoholic drinks; read books about pregnancy.
9. Don’t force her to go beyond cuddling. She has her acceptable reasons for not wanting to. Please don’t get offended. Instead, why don’t you just take her out to a dinner or a movie?
10. Know that you also experience prenatal symptoms. Some men seem to have an increase in female hormones during this time. But this is not a reason for you to compete with your wife’s own symptoms. It may just be a way of bringing out the nurturer in you.