Zoren is out working. Mavy is running around the cozy, well-appointed townhouse Carmina and Zoren are renting somewhere in Valle Verde, Pasig City. He’s a lively child, very active. He looks like his father, his handsome face highlighted by dimples. Like father, like son.
Cassy is upstairs taking her afternoon nap. In a little while, she should be up and about. Indeed, she is! She comes down with her yaya and she smiles at the visitors (including Carmina’s manager Dolor Guevarra and her husband, director Boots Plata). Cassy and Mavy are not the "elusive" type of toddlers who are wary of strangers. They are an engaging twins. They’ll let you pinch their cute cheeks and plant little kisses on their chubby arms.
Over slices of Pizza Hut, Carmina is telling us how much she’s enjoying the past three months without any shows to do or movies to shoot, giving her precious time to relish being, as I’ve been saying, wife and mother, something she simply cannot do when her taping/shooting schedules eat most of her time.
She looks (alarmingly?) thin, making showbiz-watchers conclude that she must be suffering from anorexia (more on this later).
But there’s no doubt that she’s happy with herself, with the world and with her family.
"It’s all over my face, isn’t it?"
That happiness, that is.
The pictorial over, we sit around the table for a heart-to-heart Conversation over the remaining slices of Pizza Hut.
Do you miss Morning Girls?
"I do – very much! I also miss my co-hosts (Zsa Zsa Padilla and Pops Fernandez), the staff and my director. I really love hosting. Sayang nga, e."
Now, are you losing weight because you miss Morning Girls? Or have you become anorexic like what many people suspect?
"No, I’m not anorexic."
How come you’re so thin?
"Before, I went to the gym a lot. I was doing kick-boxing, Pilates and Taebo. I didn’t eat pork, I didn’t eat beef. I didn’t even take soft drinks. Very minimal ang carbo intake ko. Last year, I was unusually busy. I was doing Recuerdo de Amor (the ABS-CBN early-afternoon soap) and then came Morning Girls, so I stopped working out due to lack of time. I was over-worked and I hardly had time to even rest. So instead of eating, I’d rather sleep. I’d tape (for Recuerdo) all of Monday until early Tuesday mornings and then ‘live’ pa ako sa Morning Girls. If I had 30-minute breaks, itinutulog ko na lang kaysa kumain ako. But I didn’t starve myself. My God, mahihilo naman ako."
So your losing weight is not deliberate…
"…you know, if you’re puyat and you’re pagod, wala ka nang appetite. I guess that my stomach got used to not having too much food. Super-konti kasi ang kinakain ko, e. Like this (pointing to a half-eaten slice of pizza). Lunch ko na ’to, plus the slice I just finished eating."
Didn’t you take breakfast?
"I had coffee and one piece of pan de sal. Okey na sa akin ’yon. Since I don’t eat meat, I eat tuna. ‘Yung Century Tuna? Love ko ’yon. But as you can see (making a sweeping gesture), ang daming junk food in the house. I’m fond of chocolates, sweets."
Maybe you’re infanticipating again?
"I don’t think so. The last time I consulted my doctor, I asked him, ‘Doc, anorexic na ba ako? Am I in my early stage of anorexia?’ He assured me, ‘No, you’re not.’ What’s wrong with me, sabi niya, was my irregular eating habit. I’ve been like this since last year when the rumor that I was anorexic started going around."
Some people even thought that you and Zoren are having problems…
"...a, wala! As far as my marriage is concerned, I have no complaints. Zoren and I have no problems. I’m so happy. I’m not anorexic, I’m not bolimic, I’m not having any problems. Period. Happy ako. I’m not sick; I’m healthy. Ask my doctor."
So far, super?
"Super-super!"
You and Zoren have been together for more than four years now. How has your life together been?
"You know, I can’t describe it. I won’t say it has been a roller-coaster kind of life; all I can say is that our life is full of excitement… basta, bahala na! Let’s just stick together and let’s pray. You remember when I got pregnant? Hindi pa annulled ang marriage ko. Zoren and I took a lot of risks. I left for the States but he had to stay because he had to work. I sacrificed many things, including my career."
And so did Zoren…
"…I’m very thankful that I gave birth in the States. Zoren followed me there later. That was the time na talagang nag-bonding kami. We stuck to each other through thick and thin. We didn’t have much money and we were staying with Zoren’s brother in L.A. Hindi ako sanay na nakikitira but I managed to. I didn’t know how to cook. But there, I learned how to use the rice cooker; natuto akong magsaing at magprito. I learned many things!"
Things must have become harder when you gave birth…
"...Sinabi mo! I gave birth by Caesarian section so during my recovery Zoren was taking good care of me, and our twins. I stayed in L.A. for seven months; si Zoren, five months."
How is it bringing up twins? Two of everything?
"Doble lahat – the expenses and the happiness. You know, I’m lucky because I get a lot of hand-me-downs from my sisters. So I never had any problems with the twins’ clothes. Konti na lang ang binibili ko. In the beginning, I’d buy blue or green things for Mavy and pink or red or yellow for Cassy. When I buy toys, they have to be exactly the same para walang inggitan. Before kasi, when I bought toys of different colors, nag-aagawan sila, nagkaka-inggitan sila."
Do they like the same toys?
"It depends on their moods. Mavy likes all kinds of balls – basketball, volleyball, soccer ball, tennis ball. Cassy would take the balls from Mavy dahil type din niyang maglaro ng balls."
Do they sleep in separate beds?
"They have their own room but right now, they sleep with Zoren and me in our room. They sleep on a futon just below our bed. They play in their room during the day."
The twins have their yayas, all right. But are you and Zoren the hands-on kind of parents?
"In the States, talagang hands-on kami because there were no yayas. We did everything by ourselves – feeding the babies, bathing them, changing their diapers, putting them to sleep."
Who in your family has had twins?
"My maternal lola; she had a twin."
Did you expect twins?
"Never! But when I was 15, I remember my lola telling us, ‘O, one of you will have twins, kasi sa generation ko mayroong twins. So the next set will have to come in your generation.’ My sisters, who didn’t have kids yet at that time, were teasing, ‘Si Mina na ’yon, si Mina na ’yon!’ I protested, ‘Why me when I’m the bunso?’ They said, ‘Because you’re the richest among us.’ We’re five; I’m the youngest. So it became a running joke among us na ako ang mag-kakaroon ng twins."
And the fraternal twins did come…
"…Mavy looks more like my brother Paolo than me. Even his hair, kapareho ng kay Paolo. But his dimples definitely came from Zoren. But Cassy looks like me, doesn’t she? Mavy is very malambing and very sweet. At sobrang lakas! I tell him, ‘Mavy, you say please, Mom, I want water.’ And he says, ‘Please, Mom, I want water.’ He also knows how to say ‘thank you.’ Si Cassy, may pagka-supladita, like me when I was small. If she doesn’t want to kiss you, you can’t force her to. Sometimes naman, she’s super friendly; siya ’yung smile nang smile. She’s moody."
When one gets sick, does the other get sick, too?
"When it comes to illness, nagkakahawaan sila because they sleep together. But one time, when Mavy had convulsions and we had to rush him to the hospital, Cassy was left home and she was restless, looking for Mavy. It was the first time they were separated that long – overnight lang naman. But I could feel that Cassy was missing Mavy so much. They’re always together. When I go to the grocery, either kasama ko silang dalawa or none of them. Never just one of them."
Was that one of your trying moments as a mother… when Mavy got sick?
"Oh, yes. When he was having convulsions, I thought Mavy would go. His fever was 39 degrees-plus. ‘Yung pagko-convulsion pala is common in our family. My brother also went through the same thing as a kid kapag may high fever siya. When Mavy’s fever reached 39-plus, I thought konting punas-punas and a little medicine would bring his fever down. His yaya, who was carrying him, soon became hysterical. Mavy was turning black at nakatirik na ang mga mata niya!"
Scary, wasn’t it?
"I took Mavy from the yaya and then Zoren and I rushed her to the (nearby) Medical City. I was only in my night gown! Para akong nasisiraan ng ulo. I was telling myself, ‘You can never forgive yourself if your son dies in your arms! Nagpa-panic na ako! I wanted to get out of the car and run to the hospital with Mavy. At the Emergency Room, Zoren and I were dumbfounded, para kaming tulala. And we were both crying. Mavy was barely two years old at that time."
How are you and Zoren as parents?
"Well, I think we’re okay. Zoren is the spoiler and I’m the disciplinarian, kaya balanced. In short, ako ang kontrabida sa buhay ng kambal at si Zoren naman ang bida. Zoren would say, ‘Okey lang, let them play.’ And I would say, ‘But it’s dirty!’ Zoren is a cool dad. I’m the one who’s always natataranta."
Are you and Zoren bringing up the twins the way you were brought up by your parents?
"I think so. I see my (late) mom in myself and I see my dad in Zoren. Si Zoren ‘yung sige lang nang sige; ako naman si hindi puwede ‘yan, hindi puwede ’to. This early, we are teaching them how to say, ‘Thank you!’ and to pray before they eat. Before sleeping, we teach them to say, ‘Good night, dear God, thank you! Please bless my mom, my dad, my yaya…’ We are also training them to be sociable and to mingle with people so when they start going to school sanay na sila. At home, we let them play with the kids in the neighborhood."
Do you spare the rod and spoil your kids?
"You know, mayroon akong natutuhan that if ever you spank your kids, never use your hands. Kasi daw that would confuse the kids. Your hands. Your hands kasi are supposed to comfort them, to caress them. So instead of your hands, you can use a slipper or newspaper pero very mild lang ang pagpalo, ’yung hindi masakit. Just to make them learn. Ako, sa hands ko sila pinapalo, at very slight lang. After the spanking, I talk to them. They are too small to understand but I talk to them anyway and explain to them kung bakit ko sila pinapalo."
You’re working and so is Zoren. How do you divide your time between showbiz and parenting?
"It’s been three months since Recuerdo folded up and I left Morning Girls, so I’m home all the time. Zoren naman has just finished shooting a movie (NBI Files: The Cory Quirino Kidnap) and he tapes for Habang Kapiling Ka (GMA 7). Last year, I was busy; this year, Zoren naman is busier. But soon, I’ll be back at work (now on GMA 7 with which she recently signed a contract). These days, I take care not only of the twins but also of Zoren. I prepare Zoren’s food and clothes."
Like a typical housewife.
"I’m very organized. I want things to be in their proper places. If I see a painting on the wall na tabingi, I won’t wait a second to fix it. Zoren nga is teasing me that I am wasting too much time and energy fixing things na hindi naman magulo at wala namang nakakapansin. No matter how late I arrive home, I first check kung nasa ayos lahat – kung tama ang position ng tables and chairs and even the throw pillows, kung nasa lugar ang mga magnets ko. And then I check the babies’ toys if they are in place. After that, saka lang ako pupunta sa room namin ni Zoren. Ganoon ako. Natural sa akin ang ganoon."
You and Zoren seem to hit it off very well.
"Kasi our lines of communication are always open. At saka we compromise. We didn’t have any adjustment problems at all. I sleep on the right side of the bed and he on the left side. If I want to read and he wants to sleep na, all I do is turn on my pin-light reading lamp. Lately kasi, I’ve been reading books. I’ve read all of Nicholas Sparks’ novels. We don’t have any TV set in our room, so if one of us wants to watch TV, go na lang sa TV room downstairs and go up kung inaantok na. Sometimes, we play video games together."
What about your marriage plans?
"We don’t talk about that – yet. Kasi naman, kaa-annull pa lang ng marriage ko (to Rustom Padilla) last year, di ba? Magastos ang annulment na ’yon, so rest muna ako. Traumatic ang five years na ’yon. Nakakapagod. Zoren understands naman – luckily."
What did you learn from your failed marriage?
"First, love yourself. Second, speak your mind. Dati kasi, I didn’t know how to say no; yes lang ako nang yes even if deep inside I wanted to say no. Look what happened – parati akong napapahamak. In the end, you realize that what you’re sacrificing is your own happiness and you end up miserable, unhappy. In a relationship, there are three important factors for it to succeed – Love, trust and respect. All those three must be present."
Are they – in your relationship with Zoren?
"Yes, they are!"