Stage Parent

Is your child living his dream or his parents' dream?

In the world of sports, behind most successful athletes are great parents working behind the scenes. That is because the role of parents is very important in the development of their children particularly in the athletic field.

Growing up, my parents were always behind me, but they never pushed me or directed me to indulge in the sport they want. My father was a successful judo athlete and an accomplished golfer. He and my mother gave me support and love and the rest, I did them on my own.

There is, however, that line that parents should not cross in raising outstanding athletes. They must constantly bear in mind that the role they play during actual games should be limited only as supporter or chief cheerleader of their child, so to speak.

Talking about support, it means giving your child appropriate sports gear and outfits, and at the same time providing them with proper hydration and nutrition. The moral side of it comes in the form of cheering, which should be reserved only to applause and maybe a few inspirational cheers. There should be no bad-mouthing or taunting the opponents, much more the game officials. Parents should set themselves as good examples to their children.

But this kind of support is easier said than done. I myself am a stage parent of aspiring basketball players. I'm almost present in all of my kids' practice and games. I must admit that sometimes, it's really hard to contain your emotions especially if your kid is not given enough playing time, being fouled hard or his team is on the verge of losing. In the end though, I realize that it's better to just relax and enjoy the game.

In the sport of running, I have been participating in countless fun runs for over three years already. I have personally seen parents pushing small kids as young as 10 years old to run faster. Sometimes they would pace them as support and give them water. Some even bring along their running friends as spotters to check on competitors who are running close to them.

In basketball, which is arguably the most famous sport in our country, I have seen parents rushing onto the court to pull out their children and leave the game, parents of the opposing teams taunting each other and making comments which are below the belt already. I even witnessed one parent trying to reach inside his bag, as if he was bringing a gun, at the height of tension-filled match. Parents would also shout at each other until their faces turned red.

Here's a bit of my unsolicited advice to prevent problems with stage parents:

1. Address problems to the tournament organizers/officials, or the coaches and official representatives of your child's school.

2. Organizers should strictly enforce seating and behavior guidelines for parents and supporters during a game.

3. Game officials should be reminded of their responsibilities in the court or field. They should always be on top of the situation and avoid biases. Some parents who were former athletes may be close to some of the game officials and this may create conflict of interest.

4. We should not forget that children look up to their coaches. They learn from them. Coaches influence the children in the way they play, in their attitudes and behavior during the game which may extend outside the court or field too.  Coaches should lead by example and should not be shouting at or taunting xx players or opponents.

5. The school's Athletic Department should set standards in the recruitment of players and coaches. They should get qualified personnel to handle the sport programs.

6. Parents should remember that they are not the coaches. As the proverbial Tagalog saying goes, "ang maling gawa ng matanda ay magiging tama sa mata ng mga bata". So stay cool and keep your comments to yourself. Don't provoke other parents. If you find something that is not right, express your concerns in the proper manner and protocol. Write to your school officials.

The bottom line in sport is that this is where you create camaraderie and friendship. It's a competition. In every game, there will always be winners and losers. Don't be a sore loser. Congratulate the winners.  Let's all enjoy the games and continue the development of sports.

SIDELINES:  Congratulations to all Cebuano finishers of the Ironman Asia-Pacific Championship held in Melbourne Australia last March 23, 2014. Cheers to Dr. Alberto Solis Jr., Guianluca Guidicelli, Meyrick Jacalan, Andrew Ong and Jane-Jane Ong.

You can visit my website at www.alanchoachuy.com and  www.facebook.com/metafitcebu.

For comments, you can reach me at [email protected].