Chona Mae

Everybody knows what happened noon time last Monday – the earth had a splitting headache and for 15 terrifying seconds, parts of the Visayas region cracked, literally and figuratively. We all had personal experiences and the most crushing part is that we are ill-prepared and misinformed when the world around us rumble and crumble.

People got out of the buildings to find a much safer place, away from falling objects. Even inmates at the city and provincial detention centers demanded to be let out. “Nanggawas na tanan, pagawasa pud mi..!”

Two hours after we were shaken, Cebu City had an unsanctioned, unregistered and highly chaotic marathon fired off simultaneously at different locations. 

This run did not require the mandatory registration, thus gone are the race bibs, singlets, the fancy running outfits and sensors. No race marshalls were needed as probably they too were caught in the pandemonium and without a clue, also ran along.

Plenty of barefoot runners were seen.   A good number were worried-looking housewives with little children either on their backs or in tow. Majority were carrying some belongings. Other barefoot runners were ladies from offices and schools who took off their heeled shoes and sprinted.

There were two unofficial finish lines – the Fuente Osmeña rotunda and the hills of Busay.

One of Liloan’s service vehicle, while on their regular Monday routine at the city, was stopped by several people, mostly ladies, and banged on the windows asking they be allowed to ride. Inside the vehicle, they were crying and demanded that they be brought to Busay.

The driver and passenger asked the people to get off the vehicle and told the hysterical group to go wherever they want to go, “bahala’g asa mo padung, pauli mi sa Liloan”, or something to that effect.

So why the instant panic run? Some punk on a motorbike heard that sea waters at the Pasil fishport has risen, and took it upon himself, without checking facts, to announce and declare that a deluge is coming. As per reports, he sped on his bike at the same time shouting, “Tsunami! Tsunami!”

On cue, all nuts and bolts broke loose. Even cars and jeepneys felt orphaned and were looking for their drivers since they abandoned their vehicles and entered the race to nowhere. The almost unused and multi-million peso billboards disguised as pedestrian skywalks magically had people on it waiting for the eventuality. Fellow sports journalist Marian Baring said it best when she declared that when the next tsunami alert comes, rush to the nearest skywalk and enjoy the spectacular chaos below.

It was true that seawaters rose and there were three-foot waves at the vicinity of the fishport, but these were generated by a passing fastcraft. No panic would have been caused had that motorcycle-riding nutcase been logical and verified things.

Nobody drowned in the tsunami of panic but there were lots of sprained ankles, blistered feet, bruised knees and elbows, unpaid restaurant bills, lost merchandise and dented vehicles.

The one who cried wolf had been identified and authorities have questioned him. He admitted to his misdeed and was mighty sorry for the harm done. But he won’t admit that he shouted “tsunami”. In the confusion caused by the tremor, he and his little daughter were separated and in his panic, ran around shouting her name.

“Chona Mae..! Chona Mae..! Dali na..!” The guy is a full-blooded Bisaya, ergo, Chona Mae became tsunami to people around him. Chona Mae. Tsunami. Ay sus! Ersh.. Ersh..

Belated birthday greetings to Atty. Jingo Quijano and Cong. Red Durano.

bobbytoohotty@lycos.com / bobby_motus@yahoo.com

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