Special feature: A mother’s love

CEBU, Philippines - Raising two children is not easy.

All the more so if the kids have osteo- genesis imperfecta.

Emma Balingit’s daughters: Jean Lawrence, 12, Aleja Grace, 7, are both victims of osteogenesis imperfecta, a congenital bone disorder. Although already school-age children, they are like infants trapped in their strollers, and they will remain so until they grow old as their illness is like a life sentence to them.

The Balingits own a small nipa hut in Caohagan, a small island in Lapu-Lapu City inhabited by about 600 people. Emma is a barangay midwife, her husband Ruel earns from selling seafood to guests who visit the island’s famous white sandy beaches. They cannot afford to hire extra help, so on week days, Emma has to wake up at 4:30am to prepare and send the children to school before she goes to work. She said she is just glad that there are other kids in the neighborhood who are always willing to push one of her two children to school. In return for this kindness, Emma prepares extra sets of packed lunches for the two kids who spoon-feed her children and send them back home while she is still at work. Emma’s P5,000 income and what little Ruel gets from his trade is allotted for food and utilities, among others. It is just fortunate that Caohagan has its own public grade school, otherwise, Emma along with the others, have to spend for boat fares in order for them to send their children to the neighboring island’s schools.

She will, however, have to face that problem of sending one of her kids to the next island next year. Jean is now in Grade 6, and the child has already expressed her intention to go to high school. The nearest high school from Caohagan is in Pangan-an Island. To reach Pangan-an National High School,  Emma said they need two liters of gasoline for their small pump boat, that’s for a two-way trip, and another two sets of packed lunch for Jean’s classmate who will volunteer to feed her and push her around school. With their current income, Emma said she could only wish she gets a raise soon or more guests would buy her husband’s seafood.

Jean was already two years old when Emma noticed something was wrong with her. “Dali ra kaayo madagma, unya masakitan dayun na siya. Abi nako sa una nga piang ra maong ipahilot nako,” she recalled. It was when the kid could hardly walk when she brought her to the doctor. And from there, she learned that her first-born had the kind of illness that would confine her for life in a wheelchair.

The doctor warned her to not have another child as it is likely that the child would get the same disease, but Emma said she was hopeful the doctor was wrong so she gave it another try.

She had Aleja Grace shortly after, but as early as eight months since she was born, the child was already showing signs of the same illness that struck her sister.

Today the two children are always seen sitting on their strollers. Emma said they have received donated wheelchairs but the kids are not comfortable with these, and would rather stick with strollers, which are just fine considering that their heights and sizes are that of a toddler. In school, Emma had also built special tables for the two for their strollers to fit in.

Jean and Aleja may be physically deformed, but they are doing well in school. Jean has been a consistent topnotcher since Grade 2, while Aleja is also faring well. “Ganahan na siya mag-abogada kuno kay pwede ra man magsige og lingkod,” revealed Emma of her youngest daughter’s ambition. Jean said she also wants to become a lawyer, but she does not know how she could become one. Asked if she could send her children to college, Emma said “tan-awon lang gyud ni namo” and flashed a sad smile.

For now, Emma and Ruel are working as best as they could to provide for the family. Once or twice a year, Emma said they would bring the two children to a shopping mall in their city. It’s one of those rare moments that they could be out of their small island and the children could eat their favorite meals in Jollibee, she said. “Malipay gyud na sila og manggawas mi, nindot unta pirmihon pero dako og gasto,” said Emma.

Apart from their daily food allowance, the family also pays P20 everyday for electricity, P50 for potable water (per six-gallon container) and P20 to P25 per six-gallon container of fresh water. The four-hectare island does not have its own source of fresh water, hence water is expensive.

By next year, Jean will start Grade 7 (the equivalent of first-year high school), and that means the daily allocation for her would triple, said Emma.

Emma and Ruel are both from Oslob town, and decided to settle down in Caohagan in 1994. They both have no other relatives living in the island, but Emma said she is thankful that the island is blessed with kind people. She said in times when she is sent to the Lapu-Lapu mainland to accompany a sick patient and Ruel is still on the other side of the island (where he trades his seafood along with other island residents), their neighbors are there to bathe and feed their children. When she gets home the children are either watching their favorite cartoon program on their small TV or playing with other kids inside their tiny hut.

Emma said she has already accepted the fact that their children are not the usual children who could run, swim in the seawaters just meters away from their house or maybe marry someone someday.

But she said she is still happy that they are healthy and happy. Emma is 39 and her husband is already 41, sooner or later they will have to leave this world, and their two children. Asked if that thought has ever crossed her mind, for a moment Emma went silent. “Di ko ganahan maghuna-huna ana…kay kung ako lay pabut-on, kung mahimo lang unta…sila na la’y mag-una namo. Ako na’ng madawat. Ayaw lang nga kami, unya sila na lang duha ang mahabilin diri,” she said with tears in her eyes. — /QSB