Handling social media conflicts

CEBU, Philippines - The social media has obviously become the self-expression platform of young people.

It’s hard not to be lured by the features of this novelty.  For one, it’s not face-to-face communication so even the shy may come out safely.

Yes, the anonymity on the internet can be empowering. People who would not even make a sound in actual face-to-face encounters may find the courage to speak up, in terms of posts on social media. This is positive – it can help young people to start developing robust self-concept.

But, as always, the positive is only one side of the story.  On social media, people are more likely to vent their negative feelings and be rude. It is so easy to forget about manners and propriety and be the person unlike who one really is.

It takes only a click and one’s positive reputation can disappear into thin air. The person who ‘rants’ on social media can appear mean or ill-mannered to others. More so, the person who’s the subject of the rant can look bad.

And yet it is not simply a matter of someone hitting someone and someone getting hit. What usually happens is that a ‘war’ begins to brew. Before long, there’s already a nasty exchange of tirades. 

The conflict, unfortunately, is never the exclusive turf of the parties involved. Right from the start, it is open to all – for everyone to partake. Even those who are never parties to the issue involved may cast in their unsolicited opinions and, in the process, complicate the matter further.

It is, therefore, important to try to avoid a conflict on social media. Pulkit Juneja shares sensible tips, at the website www.eyes4tech.com, on how to deal with someone who’s being rude on social media. Juneja’s point is to stay positive and not do anything that one – particularly the one at the receiving end of the rudeness – would later regret.

Delete harassing posts at once.

The first step to avoiding a recurrent harasser is to delete harassing posts. Sometimes you’re unable to delete a post on your own if you’re tagged in it, and the post isn’t directly on your profile page. If the post contains language or imagery or could be construed as bullying, you may be able contact the social media website to delete the posts you can’t access.

But be aware that this may challenge your harassers even more – they could post again and be even more negative. In that case, you may want to consider blocking them entirely.

Block combative users.

Take advantage of the blocking feature found on many social media sites to block frequent harassers. You don’t have to submit a report on the incidences to do so, although you’ll have that option. Keep in mind that although your interactions with the blocked user will be limited, there’s still a chance they’ll have some interaction with you.

For example,  once you block someone on Facebook, there’s still the chance that his posts will appear in your feed if a mutual friend tag him in a photo with or if you’re in the same group. For the most part, your harasser’s posts will stay off your feed, and he’ll no longer have access to your private posts. He won’t even be able to see your comments on mutual friends’ posts. However, a determined harasser can always create a new account and try to befriend you again.

Draft your response carefully.

Sometimes ignoring a harassing post is the best option so that you don’t further ‘fuel’ the anger of the harasser. But if the harassing post is really hard to ignore and you really have to respond to it, and if you think posting a response will help – or if you represent a business and have to respond to protect your outfit’s interests – compose your post offline. Read it several times. Have another person read it and see if there’s anything that can be interpreted as negative. If not, post the response no sooner than an hour later.

There are ways that victims of online harassment can do. If the negative comments directed at them come only once in a while, they may just have to step back and see if it’s better to just let it die out on its own. The best way yet in handling social media conflict is to avoid getting into it, in the first place. (FREEMAN)