Why be kind?

CEBU, Philippines - Even when there are so many bad, cruel, selfish, negative, harsh, and insulting people around us, why is it still important to show compassion, honesty, goodness? The good acts may appear to get wasted, as kind and soft-hearted people who are lenient and don’t mind the insults are viewed by others as weak and dumb. So why do good acts anyway?

First of all there are no absolutely bad, cruel, selfish, negative, harsh, insulting people in the world. There are no absolute compassionate, honest, good and kind people in the world, either. All people have all these conflicting qualities.

We define other people based on the way we see things. For example, a taxpayer may consider a tax collector as corrupt. Conversely, a tax collector may suspect a taxpayer of cheating on his declared income.

A policeman may consider people breaking the law as criminals. People may consider police officers rude and abusive. Voters may consider a politician as a trickster who doesn’t fulfill his promises. Politicians may consider voters as unprincipled and don’t vote according to a politician’s merit alone, without having to be bribed.

The ways people view one another are subjective. The terrorist of one country is martyr of another. Interestingly, the way a person describes other people also describes what kind of person he is. There is a saying: “A thief is always suspicious of another thief.”

A kind person is very careful about the ways he views and describes another person. He speaks kindly and cautiously of others. Oftentimes, if he cannot say a kind word, he would rather keep his mouth shut.

There are disadvantages for being unkind and hateful. Hatred creates more hatred and, therefore, only creates more enemies. In the process, worse and bigger problems are often created. It does not solve anything.

On the other hand, being kind and forgiving brings peace. There is not going to be thoughts of retaliating or getting back at others. In the final analysis, a kind person is not only being kind to others. In the first place, he is being kind to himself – for sparing himself the stress of having to think bad things of others.

The good thing is, when a person is kind to others, they too will be kind to him in return, because one often gets from others what he gives to them. And, again, a person who is kind to others is, first of all, being kind to himself. When a person can forgive others for their mistakes, he can also forgive himself for his own mistakes.

So, it pays to be kind – for one’s own sake.

Awdhesh Singh is an author of books on spiritual intelligence and leadership. (https://www.quora.com)