Never give up

A story was told that as a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could at any time, break away from their bonds,  but for some reasons, they did not. He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempts to get away. “Well”, said the trainer,  “When they were young and much smaller, we use the same size rope tied to them and at that age,  just enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe that  they cannot break away. They believe  that the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”  The man was amazed. These animals could anytime break free from their bonds, but because they believed they couldn't , they were stuck right where they were.”

What is the moral lesson of the story? The unknown author said, “Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging unto belief that we cannot do something,  simply we failed at it once before. Failure is part of learning. We should never give up the struggle in life.”

The message reminds me of my late husband. When he first took the Bar Exams, he failed. He blamed himself because he was not serious in his review. But his failure never stopped him from becoming a lawyer. He tried again, he exiled himself in a far away province and reviewed by himself. With God's grace, he passed the exams with flying colors.

Have you experienced failure in your life in one way or another? Don't fret. It's not the end of the world. The Positive  Blog website offers the following powerful habits:

First, just accept how you feel.  When you just failed it will most likely hurt.  Sometimes a bit. Sometimes a lot. That's Ok. Don't try to push it away by distracting yourself or trying to push the responsibility onto the rest of the world. Try to accept it, to let it in and to hurt for a while, instead of trying to reject it all, and to keep it away.

Remember, you're not a failure just because you had a setback. Instead remind yourself that just because you failed today or yesterday doesn't mean that you'll fail the next time. The truth is that  this won't last for the rest of your life,  if you keep moving forward, if you take action and you keep learning. Seeing it as a negative  temporary thing, instead of something permanent. It is  an essential key to an optimistic attitude and to keep going forward in life.

Be constructive and learn from this situation. See it as a valuable feedback and something you can use to improve rather than only a big blow and setback.

Remind yourself: anyone who wants to do things of value in life will fail. We often mostly hear about people's successes. But the path to those milestones tends to have many setbacks. The story of someone's success may seem only bright and fast-moving in what's told in the media or we see in our minds. But the reality — and the useful way to approach setbacks — is often more like this quote by Michael Jordan: “I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games, 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life- and that is why I succeed.”

Let it out  into the light. Another powerful way to handle the emotional failout  and the thoughts that come from a failure is to not keep it all bottled up inside. But let it out into the light by talking it over with someone close to you.  By venting about it while the other person just listens, you can sort things out for yourself, help yourself accept what happened, instead of pushing it away. Release that inner pressure.

Move forward again, don't get stuck in mulling the situation over for too long.  Processing the situation and accepting it is essential. Remember that you are not a failure. That everyone has setbacks.  Climb up back from what had happened. As what one unknown writer said, “It is not how many times that I fall that counts, but how many times that I bounce back from every fall.”