Our Fear of Death

Our common concept of death is one that is grim and scary. Perhaps, this is because of our instinctive fear of the unknown. Also, the signs of struggle and pain we observe on the faces of many dying persons tend to support our fear.

But there is another side to the picture. People who claim to have been on the verge of death tell of a feeling of absolute relief and positive energy, of profound calm and love. Some of those who report such near-death experiences are men of science, they who would never accept anything outside of actual personal experience.

Some very sick and old people wish of death as an end to their discomforts and suffering. To them death is a welcome relief. Even among those who have feared death all their lives, there generally seems to be a peaceful surrender when their time comes.

There have been victims of drowning, electrocution and other accidents who were declared clinically dead and then successfully revived by medical efforts, who report that there was no anguish, no pain, no terror — only an all-embracing peace. A doctor who had witnessed over five hundred deaths in his entire career reports that death is almost always preceded by a perfect willingness to die. “Actually,” he says, “I had never seen one who struggled at the final moment.”

Physicians and medical experts say that the idea of suffering in the process of dying arises from a misinterpretation of the signs accompanying a person’s final moment. “Death is often confused with the symptoms of the disease that preceded it,” they explain, adding that the body has a natural tendency to exert utmost efforts to sustain itself in the face of a malady. But once it senses that the enemy is insurmountable, the body surrenders peacefully.

The contractions of a dying body are indeed distressing to see. But while these may be seen as signs of suffering by an untrained observer, doctors view it as mainly mere contractions of reflex muscles. They explain it as the same reflex muscular reaction that makes a dead body jolt when subjected to extreme heat inside the crematory chamber. The facial grimaces that often come with death are involuntary and are not necessarily an indication of pain. Doctors cite as an example that many of us grimace in our sleep, but it does not mean that we are in pain.

Friends and relatives that surround the dying person are often the ones that suffer the greater pain, mentally and emotionally. Their suffering is in sympathy with their perception of the suffering of the dying loved one. Or, perhaps, they suffer at the thought of what they imagine as a horrible experience that they themselves will have to go through when their own time comes.

At the hour of our death the heart weakens and pumps lesser and lesser supply of blood. The oxygen starvation that results from the failing blood circulation numbs the brain. Our sensory perceptions begin to fail, which means our experience of pain diminishes.

Then slowly we slide into darkness and completely dose off like we’re falling into deep sleep. Like sleep is the body’s relief from the toils of the day, death is our final rest from the struggles of living. This, at least, is what the experts say about the process of dying.

But one will not know for sure what dying is really like – until he dies. As the saying goes: “No one had been there and back.” Those who report of a near-death experience had only come close to dying, but they did not actually die.

It’s interesting how greatly our idea of death influences our way of life. We all want to live full lives, for either or both of two reasons:  we want to have no unfinished business when death comes to take us, or we want to make the most of this life because we don’t know what comes after.

Whichever way we see it, death is a reality we need to face. People around us are dying all the time – relatives, friends, total strangers. At each instance, we are also reminded of our own mortality.

Death, therefore, is a certainty that awaits us all. What lies beyond this life, no one knows. In the meantime, we can either fear death — or get ourselves ready for it.