Home training for kids

CEBU, Philippines - The common notion is that children have to go to school to learn. It is often overlooked that children learn at home, too. In fact, the many practical things that children learn at home can serve them very well in their day-to-day lives as adults.

Thus, it is important to assign kids certain responsibilities at home, particularly letting them do house tasks. This is good training for them and it can be very helpful in getting the chores around the house done. Obviously, more work gets done if everyone shares the tasks.

Teaching children to become cooperative members of a household is one of the best ways to teach them responsibility, according to Anne Perryman of familytlc.net. She says it is a vital step in developing caring, considerate adults. Stephanie Simpson McLellan of todaysparent.com adds that it just makes sense: since the kids contribute to the mess around the house, they should help tidy it up; not so much for the parents' sake, but for the kids'.

With both parents having to go to work nowadays, the kids need to have knowledge of how to do household jobs and keep the house in order. Doing housework is no longer exclusive for girls; even the boys need to do their part too. Setting the dinner table, making a bed and mopping the floor are basic skills for both boys and girls.

It is especially important for boys to do cooking and laundry. It is no longer smart to confine the boys only to 'male' tasks such as cutting grass, fixing a broken fence, and doing basic carpentry.  Author Anne Roiphe says, "If we raise boys to know that diapers need to be changed and refrigerators need to be cleaned, there's hope for the next generation."

"One of the biggest problems children experience is that they don't feel needed," writes Maggie Reigh, in her book "9 Ways to Bring Out the Best in You & Your Child." To help kids mature into emotionally healthy adults, she states, "They need to feel that their contribution matters."

Even young children can do lots of helpful things around the house. Parents can start the kids as soon as the little ones can "pick it up, put it away, fold, sort it, or carry it out the door." Children three, four, and five years old love to carry things, help to set the dinner table and take dishes to the kitchen.

McLellan suggests ways in training kids to help in house chores.

Match the chore to child. Even the littlest one can pitch in and feel useful, so long as the job fits the child's level of skills. Asking a three-year-old to do the laundry might be way too much! But putting the child at the sink and get him to rinse the carrots is more realistic.

Accept imperfection. Parents need to remember that the most important goal is not a spotless bathroom, but to get the children to help so they may acquire some skills. Parents, instead, need to be appreciative. Encouragement is a greater motivator than criticism.

Keep it simple. Breaking things down to the level of the child is important. Asking a five-year-old to help clean up after dinner may sound too complicated for him, involving too many steps. It's better to ask, "Bring me the plates, and then I can scrape them and put them in the dishwasher."

Be consistent. Be clear about the expected time frame for the child to get the job done, and be strong enough to endure a little short-term pain if you have to follow through with a consequence. If your eight-year-old doesn't get her chores done, for example, tell her firmly but kindly, "I was really hoping you could watch your favorite TV show tonight." That said, if your child has a really busy day, you could help her come up with a plan to get her chores done on time, on the following day.

Work as a team. Chores are an opportunity for parents to connect with their children. It's a chance for the whole family to be part of something and to experience the benefit - and the fun - of working together. It's better to involve the kids in choices and decisions on which tasks go to whom.

Beware of tying chores to allowance. Are you prepared for your 12-year-old to pass up on his allowance if that means he doesn't have to take his turn washing dishes? If you give him this choice, know that you could be facing a chore boycott. Plus linking chores to money may take away the good feeling of contributing to the household.

Sometimes the child's pace and the parent's needs collide. For example, the little one may insist on dressing herself up for school or take five minutes to fold a towel. While parents don't want to discourage kids from doing things for themselves and, instead, allow the kids enough time, sometimes parents may need to limit the kids' participation in the interest of getting to school or work on time. (FREEMAN)