Say no to negative energy

CEBU, Philippines – Suppose you visit a friend because you heard she has a problem. But while your friend is sharing to you her problems, you unconsciously absorb her negative emotions. When you get home, you have a bad temper. You are being a hero to your friend but a villain inside your own home.

There is nothing wrong with listening to the negative emotions and experiences of friends, as long as you are sure to not let it get into your system.

You can give advice if you are trained to do so; if not, just listening is enough. You do not have to internalize and imbibe everything. You should put a limit between helping and ego-feeding.

If you are empathizing with your friend's negative experiences, you are not really helping her out; instead, you're ego-feeding her. In doing so, your friend's negative energy is more likely to sap your own limited positive energy and affect your own mood negatively. Remember: "Low positive energy leads to anger."

Then, you should not be surprised that when you get home, you find yourself shouting at your children, who just want some help with their school assignments.

If you happen to absorb the negative energy that already results in anger, don't give life to it by harboring it in your heart and mind. Otherwise, it will start hunting you and disturb your peace. Anger is not our nature. If you nurture it, it will torture you.

What I am trying to do is convince you to let these negative experiences go and you move on with your life. You have a choice to put your anger and other negative feelings and emotions on the corner, leave it there, and allow it to be processed by time, nature and God.

Every time you get angry, you are basically surrendering two of the most beautiful gifts from God: your self-authority and your self-sovereignty. In anger, you lose control over your own life, and you're being a slave to your own negative reactions, which cause you hurt and sorrow as a result.

Listen to anger as a guide to where you are, since anger is only a secondary emotion resulting from hurt and fear. You should then reflect and see what positive thoughts and feelings you can bring to mind, so that anger is replaced by something more ennobling and uplifting.

When you successfully overcome the negative energy you have absorbed, you can now go back to the problem of your friend, and you could teach him how to transform negative energy into its positive opposites, such as peace, love, joy, and harmony.

What you should also realize is that your friend may be only in need a sympathetic listener and a shoulder to cry on, and not necessarily need any of your unsolicited advice.