Art of loving

CEBU, Philippines - Scholars of all time have been trying to pinpoint the very human need or impulse that sparked the creation of art. Most art forms do not seem to have any practical value at all for the day-to-day human experience.

Many people ask, "What is art for?"

But art must have a good purpose for being. Otherwise, it should have just quickly withered away a short while after its invention. On the contrary, it has even flourished so much through time, and has become an element in almost all facets of human life.

The quality of one's life experience depends largely on his mastery of particular areas of endeavor. It holds true not only in economic and professional pursuits but in all other human engagements as well. Aside from the widely acknowledged eight major art forms, there have since been many practical arts genres - culinary arts, communication arts, political arts etc.

And, well, the area of romance is never left out. This essential aspect of human life has been the subject of studies and researches, to the point that the findings and ideas derived have already provided practical guidelines on the matter. Yes, romance has come to the level of an art form.

Loving is giving of oneself. For all intents and purposes, the process of loving is of one offering himself or herself to the other. Experts on human emotions and relationships have drawn five distinct means of fostering romantic connection:

Words. While it is true that an emotion has the power to communicate itself on its own, the most direct expression of a feeling is by the use of words. Saying the words "I love you," for instance, is most common; although it is not the only way to verbalize the romantic emotion.

Touch. To a very significant degree, there is a physical dimension to the emotion of love. Words take on much better meaning when they are uttered with a touch, a caress or a kiss. A touch is even a language all its own; many times, a touch is enough to effectively communicate a feeling, no words necessary.

Time. The romantic feeling naturally causes the lover to want to spend time with the beloved. Spending time together is like rubber to the balloon - giving shape to the invisible air. Love that is not given the time for expression will not flourish, like a seed kept in a jar.

Service. The willingness to be of service to a loved one is another natural characteristic of the emotion of love. It is both a selfless and selfish urge. For example, the man wants to serve his woman out of a desire to make her happy and, achieving that, he becomes happy as well.

Gifts. While loving words, touch, time together and service are gifts that the lover is willing and glad to give his beloved, an actual present is something else to signify the feeling of love. Gifts are re-enforcements of the giver's presence in the life of the recipient. These are reminders to the recipient that someone cares, whether that person is around or not.

All five means of expressing love help give lovers much better chances at a dynamic, happy relationship. Things can still go wrong, of course. But the bond between two people who are eager to do their individual shares for the relationship is sure to withstand any test.

The art of loving, like all art forms, does not make life easy for the lovers. It makes their life together beautiful. (FREEMAN)