Visiting the Sick

To the person who is confined in a hospital, a visit from a friend or relative is worth far more than an expensive present. Often those who get to the hospital to visit most frequently are the busiest people with the most responsibilities, yet somehow they are able to manage to fit compassion into their well-organized schedules.

 Visiting rules in a hospital are usually strict. Unless you are a close friend or relative who is needed to help in the nursing of the patient, visit only a short time. If the patient has been very ill, do not stay more than 15 minutes; if the patient is recovering and does not tire too quickly, a visit of an hour should be the maximum.

Gifts

One should use common sense in bringing a gift of food. If your friend is in the hospital with a broken leg, you can bring freshly baked brownies without fear, but if he is recovering from an internal ailment he is probably on a special diet and you should not bring any delicacies.

Visitor's Manners

One or two visitors at a time is easiest for a sick person or someone in pain to absorb. Keep your voices low so that you do not disturb others nearby. Use your discretion in asking for information on the patient's health. Most nurses will give you a general assessment of patient progress. Remember that patients have rights to privacy and hospital staffs are expected to protect these rights. Only a very close friend or relative should take it upon himself to question the doctor about a patient's condition.

The Terminally Ill

These patients often feel very sad and helpless. If you have to choose between visiting someone who has just had a minor surgery or someone who is very ill with perhaps cancer, choose the latter. Many people are so uncomfortable with ill people, they cease to communicate with them. This is an unforgivable rejection.

 Someone facing death shall be allowed to talk about how he feels if he wants to, voice his fears of the unknown and his frustrations about certain things left undone. The patient shall be the one to guide the conversation. Take your cue whether he is anxious for cheerful news of the outside world or for sympathy. Come close to the body on the bed. Listen intently when she speaks. If her story moves you to tears, don't worry; it's okay to show your own emotions. Look her in the eye to show her that you recognize her pain.

 But if she keeps asking you about what you are doing, what your family and friends are up to, do not discuss health or hospitalization. Tell her funny stories and exciting events. Keep your conversation cheerful, or at least fascinating, but above all, do not sit there and expect the patient to entertain you. And when you see that she is beginning to tire, wind down quickly and leave. One can absorb only so much stimulation when one is ill.

 When the patient leaves the hospital it is a nice gesture to put a large box of candy at the nurses station for the enjoyment of all those who helped. If you have had a private nurse, it is appropriate when she leaves you to give her a personal gift. If you've had a baby, a little token for the head nurse of the hospital nursery would be cherished. It goes without saying that a hand written thank-you note with perhaps a nice, inexpensive gift for the doctor would be in order.  Remember above all, the medical team is worthy of your respect and consideration.