Why Marry?

CEBU, Philippines - It appears that love relationships affect people in  a big way. Even highly successful professionals can be easily thrown out of balance by problems in their love life. Conversely, there have been a good number of timid people who turned assertive and propelled to achieve great feats in the name of love.

We know of the king who abdicated his throne in favor of the woman he loved. And there's news report of a prisoner who bolted jail and risked being shot by jail guards because he missed his wife so much and needed to see her. We wonder, why is a romantic relationship so important to people?

Of course a romantic relationship - the feeling of loving and being loved in return - makes the people involved happy. Well, yes, it also brings problems and heartbreaks at times; but in general people get into a relationship because they expect it to bring them happiness.

 And happy people tend to make other people happy too; not only the object of their affection, but the others around them, as well. We often notice it when a neighbor or workmate is "in love," even without being told. The information just presents itself to us, naturally and in a nice way.

The reverse is true when the relationship is going through rough times. We see irritable behavior. And the gloom quickly spreads to others.

But even if all goes well, it may not be enough just to be in a love relationship. The lovers may need to bring it to the next level, to a point where they no longer have to fear losing each other to someone else, which is often the cause of nasty fights. While jealousy will always be a reality in a romantic relationship, it becomes less of a threat when lovers formally commit to each other in marriage.

Online columnist Linda Mintle, in an article she posted at www.beliefnet.com, cites a research at Cornell University and Penn State University in the U.S. on married couples and singles or cohabitators, where it was found that even when the marriage is not so happy, married couples "have a better sense of wellbeing than singles or (couples just living together)." The reason, Mintle proposes, "could be that marriage brings a sense of stability because of the commitment."

However, what the research revealed may not be all new. The fact that people of old invented the institution of marriage is telling that the benefits of marriage have been acknowledged since way, way back. It's the marital breakups, instead, that are relatively new.

In marriage, the usual practical benefits of a romantic relationship are there, too - from sexual security to simply having someone to switch off the TV when one falls asleep halfway through the show. (FREEMAN)