Sexual Harassment

My friend Arlene has recently quit her job as a teller at a pawnshop. She has also filed a case in court against her former boss. Her complaint — sexual harassment.

She said that several times, her boss squeezed himself into her tiny cubicle, pretending to be looking for a document or anything. Then he would begin to whisper sexual jokes to her, his eyes fixed on her private parts. In the latest incident, he asked if she was still a virgin.

Sexual harassment is commonly a women’s issue. Most of the publicized cases of this offense involve a man as perpetrator and a woman as victim. But, in truth, sexual harassment can be a problem for both women and men.

The problem occurs when sexual advances are not welcome with you. It can be quite difficult to resist someone who has some power over you. The situation can often cost you something; Arlene lost her job in opting to uphold her dignity.

The best way to deal with sexual harassment is perhaps to try to avert it in the first place. To avoid being the object of someone’s sexual fascination, make sure that your appearance and actions do not invite possible misinterpretation. The hard fact is that, particularly in a work environment, sexy clothing can call unwelcome attention and unguarded actions can send mixed signals.

There is no argument that we have the right to wear whatever we choose and to move in whatever ways we want, so long as we do not cross the limits of decency. We have the right, too, not to be sexually intimidated or inconvenienced by someone’s sexual attraction. But, even so, some people will pick up every probable evocation to make a pass.

It is good practice to report to work with a professional demeanor: decent attire and a neat overall appearance matched with proper behavior. At the workplace, good fashion is one that earns respect from co-workers, not one that ignites sensual desire. A translucent silk dress, luscious red lipstick, tight pants and an open shirt may only suggest sexual incitement.

To be able to spot sexual harassment in its earliest stage gives us a much better chance of averting it. Unless we want a relationship with an office colleague, we should be wary of any action that may hint of attraction. Also, we must be watchful of coworkers’ actuations towards us: when someone watches us constantly, gives us prolonged and longing eye contact, comes within our intimate personal space or often “accidentally” touches us.

Among Filipinos especially, it can be rather difficult to deal with sexual harassment. It just runs against our nature as a timid, non-confrontational people to react vehemently to indecent advances. We soothe our inner repulsion by thinking that it’s all our imagination, that we are just putting sexual color to what are actually innocent actions by others. But even if in fact we are only imagining things, it is fair to all concerned to alert them that we are feeling uncomfortable.

We can nip offensive behavior in the bud by making our disapproval known early on. By showing that we feel invaded. Sometimes, stepping back out of the intimate sphere, bracing our arms and turning away, is enough. Frowning and speaking in a clipped or cold tone of voice are also effective ways to communicate displeasure.

If the worst happens — when very bold innuendos are made, or an accidental touch lingers, or a hand is placed where it should not be — a strong and indignant reproof is in order. Smiling or using a polite voice can make you seem uncertain, even apologetic. Do not just pull away and go, or your harasser will simply try again at another chance.

In case of a blatant attempt, quickly collecting yourself and garnering the strength to openly object will help. Stand up to your full height – no matter if you’re short – and push your harasser back. As you do, speak loudly in order to draw others’ attention to what is happening. Clichés like “No!”, “Don’t!”, and “How dare you!” can be very effective. Even a simple “What is this hand doing here?” can abort a possibly more invasive affront. The harasser will be embarrassed when other people are aware of his misconduct.

If the offense is so grave, the ultimate recourse is filing a case in court. You will have proven that you have power. People will be more careful not to mess with you. And so you may never again be troubled in the same way in the future. (E-MAIL: [email protected])