The first time I heard Lady Gaga's song "Born This Way," I thought to myself, "Hey, that's pretty cool." Of course I never really figured out the rest of the lyrics so it was just the chorus that I heard: "Oh there ain't no other way/ Baby I was born this way/I'm on the right track, baby/I was born this way…"Nothing wrong with a little self-expression and pride, I thought. And yet… and yet… there was something niggling at the back of my mind that it wasn't quite right.
Essentially, there is nothing wrong with asserting one's individuality. In a world of 7 billion people, it's quite normal for someone to feel like he ought to stand out, lest he be forgotten. An acceptance of one's weaknesses and strengths is necessary to develop a genuine love for the self that transcends narcissism and egoism.
And that's when it hits me. Now I know what's wrong. Proclaiming to the world that you're "on the right track because you were born this way" is all fine and good when you are trying to figure out your identity but it doesn't leave you much room for self-transcendence. If you are content with who you are and if you feel powerless to change things about yourself, why should you take the effort to improve at all?
While it is true that there are certain things about our personality and our life that we're unable to control, there are many more things that are within our power to change. A student who may not have been born with a genius IQ can still improve himself with diligence and perseverance. A person with anger management issues can still go to therapy and find ways of channeling his anger. A woman who is born without limbs can still find ways of being a functioning member of society. If we allow ourselves to be defined by the circumstances of our birth then we are no more than puppets to fate and destiny.
Yes, I was born a certain way. But a lot can happen between the time I was born and the time I will die. I would certainly hope that I die a much better, kinder, holier person than when I was born. I'm 100% sure that Lady Gaga did not come out of her mother's womb with a wig, false lashes and an outrageous outfit. She was, in fact, born to an Italian-American family that sent her to a Catholic school. But somewhere along the way she chose to become who she is now. And who knows what will happen to her in ten or twenty years? Nothing is written in stone, after all.
There has to be more to life than merely asserting who we are. In fact, there's a beautiful story of a young man who for lack of a better idiom "sang a different tune." In the 16th century, Aloysius, who was born to a noble family, told his father that he wanted to join the Jesuits and take vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. His aristocratic father was understandably disappointed and asked him: Don't you know that you were born into title and wealth and honor?" and then he sweeps his hand across their estate (which was very vast) and tells him: You were born for all this. And the young Aloysius reply? "I was born for greater things."
Aloysius Gonzaga eventually did join the Jesuits and died at the age of 23. He was canonized in 1726 and is the patron saint of the youth and AIDS patients, among others.
Now if I can only get a pop star to sing about him.