CEBU, Philippines - Many people all over the world know they can’t eat certain foods – oysters or shrimps or eggs or cucumbers or sugar or something else – without getting very uncomfortable and maybe even quite sick. A person with a food allergy of this kind can go around feeling a lot of self-pity, complaining to everyone that they are unfairly deprived, and constantly whining about not being able, or allowed, to eat something delicious. Obviously, even though we may feel cheated, it isn’t wise to ignore our own physiological makeup. If our limitations are ignored, severe discomfort or illness may result. To stay healthy and reasonably happy, we must learn to live with the bodies we have.
One of the new thinking habits a recovering chemical dependent (addict) can develop is a calm view of himself or herself as someone who needs to avoid chemicals (alcohol and other drugs that are substitutes for it) if he or she wants to maintain good health. We have as evidence our own using days, a combined total of hundreds of thousands of years of a lot of using . We know that, as the using years went by, our problems related to using continually worsened. Chemical Dependency is progressive.
Many of us had periods when, for some months or even years, we sometimes thought the using had sort of straightened itself out. We seemed able to maintain a considerably heavy chemical intake fairly safely. Or we could stay clean and sober except for the occasional use, and the using was not getting noticeably worse, as far as we could see. Nothing horrible or dramatic happened. However, we can see that, in the long or short haul, our using problem inevitably got more serious.
Some experts on chemical dependency tell us there is no doubt that the addiction steadily grows worse as one grows older. We are also convinced, after the countless attempts we made to prove otherwise, that chemical dependency is incurable – just like some other illnesses. It cannot be “cured” in this sense: We cannot change our body chemistry and go back to being the normal, moderate social users lots of us seemed to be in our youth. We can no more make that change than a pickle can change itself back into a cucumber. No medication or form of psychological treatment any of us ever had “cured” our addiction.
After having seen thousands and thousands of addicts who did not stop using, we are strongly persuaded that chemical dependency is a fatal disease. Not only have we seen many addict use themselves to death – dying during the “withdrawal” symptoms of delirium tremens (D.T’s) or convulsions, or dying of cirrhosis of the liver directly related to using – we also know that many deaths not officially attributed to addiction are in reality caused by it. Often, when an automobile accident, drowning, suicide, homicide, heart attack, fire, pneumonia, or stroke is listed as the immediate cause of death, it was heavy drug use that led to the fatal condition or event.
So, what do you do if you learn that you have an incurable, progressive, fatal disease – whether it’s chemical dependency or some other, such as diabetes or cancer? Many people just deny it is true, ignore the condition, accept no treatment for it, suffer, and die. But there is another way. You can accept the “diagnosis” – persuaded by your doctor, and addictions treatment professional, your friends, or yourself. Then you can find out what can be done, if anything, to keep the condition “under control,” so you can still live many happy, productive, and healthy years as long as you take proper care of yourself. You recognize fully the seriousness of your condition, and you do the sensible things necessary to carry on a healthy life.
It is surprisingly easy in regard to addiction, if you really want to stay well. We try never to lose sight of the unchangeable fact of our alcoholism/addiction, but we learn not to sulk or feel sorry for ourselves or talk about it all the time. We accept it as a characteristic of our body – like our height/weight or our need for glasses, or like any allergies we may have. Then we can figure out how to live comfortably – not bitterly – with that knowledge as long as we start out by simply avoiding that first use (remember?) just for today.
A blind recovering person said his addiction was quite similar to his disability. “Once I accepted the disability as part and parcel of my life,” he explained, “and took the rehabilitation training available to me, I discovered I really can, with the aid of my cane or my dog, go anywhere I want to go quite safely, just as long as I don’t forget or ignore the fact that I am blind. But when I do not act within the knowledge that I cannot see, it is then I get hurt, or in trouble.” “If you want to get well, you just take your treatment and follow directions and go on living. It’s easy as long as you remember the new facts about your health. Who has time to feel ‘deprived’ or self-pitying when you find there are so many delights connected with living happily unafraid of your illness?”
In short: We remember we have an incurable, potentially fatal ailment called addiction. And instead of persisting in using alcohol and other drugs, we prefer to figure out, and use, other enjoyable ways of living without chemical substances.
We need not to be ashamed that we have a disease. It is no disgrace. No one knows exactly why some people become addicts. It is not our fault. We did not plan to become addicts. We did not purposely do things to get this illness. We did not suffer addiction just because we enjoyed it, after all. We did not deliberately, maliciously set out to do the things we were later ashamed of. We did them against our better judgment and instinct because we were really sick, and didn’t even know it. We’ve learned that no good comes of useless regret and worry about how we got this way. The first step toward feeling better, and getting over our sickness, is quite simply not using. For more information, feel free to contact us at 032-2315229 or 032-2389143.