A Gamble Worth Taking

CEBU, Philippines - In a society dictated by norms, the mother manages the household and the father brings home the bacon. Or so it used to be.

In the 21st century of living fast-forwarded lives, a lot has changed: views have broadened and roles have shifted. However, even these changes can’t escape society’s unwritten laws. 

Life is a game, yes, and for some men, it is a gamble.

Meet Mr. Manghano and Mr. Belarmino: men of the 21st century. It’s not their ages that bring them here, rather it’s the roles they are playing in their households. They are who you call modern “househusbands”.

As influenced by society, one would think of a lazy, drunkard man seated in a single sofa upon hearing the term “househusband.” Clear the image out of your mind though, for it’s not the case for both Manghano and Belarmino.

In this gamble, they both answer the same questions and the dice is kept rolling.

Majority of the people’s views is inclined to a negative side when they encounter this term. However, for both of them, they are not offended being called a househusband. For Manghano, there is no better term other than househusband because it doesn’t sound downgrading at all.

Rather, they are both proud of what they do. In their situation, they are closer to managing their children’s welfare and attending to their home’s needs. For Belarmino, he is profound being able to do the things he could not do when he works.

Manghano’s wife currently works as an accounting staff at an engineering company while Belarmino’s works as a college instructor. Their wives’ jobs are exceptional, but it does not mean that these househusbands are a notch lower than their wives in terms of working capabilities.

Before being home-based, Mr. Manghano worked for seven years in sales, while Mr. Belarmino had work experience in community organization, school and training management, corporate staff management and business management.

One may ask how they can turn their backs on jobs like those, but they share a commonality: love of family.

For Manghano he was left to take care of their daughter when his wife’s job brought her overseas back in 2009. For Belarmino, on the other hand, it was the importance of making a hands-on intervention and follow-up regarding household management while attending to their children’s needs both at home and in school.

At this point, one may realize that being a househusband is sometimes a choice. Not a choice of leaving all the work to their wives for their benefit, but a choice of giving up something great for something even greater.

Despite their current setup, doing the household chores is still of equal distribution. Their wives still sometimes wash the dishes and do the house cleaning, but they experience doing the laundry, cooking meals and doing the grocery: activities rare for men to do.

After they do these chores, they still have time to read books, watch movies, listen to music and surf the internet. Manghano even emphasized that number one in his list of activities during free time is playing DOTA— a computer game popular among males.

Being a pillar of the family doesn’t entail giving financial support. For both of them— and other househusbands who share a similar story— being there physically for their family and doing the chores is just important.

For these men, being a househusband is a gamble, yes, but so far they have never lost...not even once.