Forgive in order to be content

CEBU, Philippines - Two weeks ago I came into an argument with a long-time friend and colleague, since then, every time I see him feelings of disappointment and remorse would flood me, not simply because of the argument, but because of all the stored disappointments and feelings of betrayal that I have been nursing inside.

You see, the reason for my decision to return to my hometown was because of a promise of a better future and career growth opportunities, which, at the time that he made the offer, seemed so convincing and attainable. But when I was already at the point of no return, I discovered that all those promises were hollow and shallow, as he already had a different plan, with me nowhere in sight.

Now I am left with the feeling of discontent, which most of the time would affect my work and work habit. Truth of the matter is happiness and contentment in the workplace is never really my thing. And to be honest, I never knew why.

Well, at least not until I came upon one of the lectures of one of the world’s Keepers of Wisdom – the 94-year old chief of the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University, Dadi Janki.

Now, I have accepted, for a fact that discontent is brought about by past hurts and failed expectations. So, in order for us to erase this feeling from our system and start becoming productive, it is but essential for us to learn how to heal the hurts.

In her October 29 talk at the world headquarters of the Brahma Kumaris in Madhuban (Mt. Abu), India, Dadi Janki said that in order to heal the hurt that was in the heart and for one to be able to truly forgive, one has to learn how to create pure, positive, and peaceful thoughts.

“Such thoughts clean the intellect and the hurt that was in the heart is healed – the heart becomes strong. I can then ask for and receive forgiveness from God,” Dadi Janki said. “Until then I will feel the sins of my past pinching inside.”

So, how do we do this? I mean, just how, exactly, do we create wonderful thoughts without the vibration of a negative experience polluting our atmosphere?

1. Forgive yourself and then forgive others. Most of the time, the person who we really need to forgive is ourselves. The anger and frustration that we feel towards others can sometimes be a reflection of our own errors, and so in reality, it is the self that we are angry with and not the person whom you vented your anger on. Dadi Janki said that until we are able to come into terms with our own errors and the mistakes that others made, we would not be able to forget the incident that is causing us distress.

2. Maintain the feeling that nothing has happened. Forgetting is a part of forgiving. If we don’t forget, negatives scenes would keep on playing in our mind, feeding our anger, eventually compromising our relationships and our work. “Whatever has happened – leave it. Maintain the feeling that nothing has happened. Don’t keep repeating it – even in your mind,” said Dadi Janki, adding that if one keeps on looking at the mistake of others, repeating them in one’s thoughts, and speaking about them to others, they commit sin.

3. Pay great attention to what you listen and speak. “Whatever someone tells us is what they are collecting inside. If they are saying negative things it is because they don’t have anything good inside to play with,” said Dadi Janki. And so why should we allow ourselves to collect the trash that others are collecting, all this would do is to fuel the anger that threatens to spark within. “If I engage in negativity and continue playing with that inside them how can I become an angel?” she countered.

4. Look at your conscience. Your conscience tells you right from wrong, said Dadi Janki. “It speaks to you!” She however said that the voice of one’s conscience is however blocked by one’s ego, which leads us to the next point.

5. Check the ego. “Is there still any ego hidden inside me?” she quipped. “If there is, it will not allow you to become truthful or your vision to see what is good. Learn to see only what is good,” she said, adding that if a person is not good today, we must realize and keep the awareness that tomorrow he will become good. “This is important because our vision creates our attitude,” she said.

6. Check yourself. Lastly, Dadi Janki advised that we must also take time to check within ourselves and realize what still needs to be transformed inside and then sit in remembrance of the Supreme to take the power to do that internal work. “If I still look at the weaknesses of others I will get infected by thinking about those weaknesses, how then can I do my own internal transformation work?” she said.

So, do you ever feel a drop of discontent with what you are doing? Sit down and think of what Dadi Janki shared to us and start feeling good about ourselves, the people around us, and the decisions that we make.

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For more information on Raja Yoga and the Braham Kumaris, visit www.bkwsu.org/whereweare/center for listings of centers near you. (FREEMAN)