5 Realizations of a Quixotic Girlfriend (and why we shouldn't compare ourselves with movie heroines)

CEBU, Philippines - 1. You cannot expect Mr. Perfect to just accept you, period.

Remember the classic story that our big sisters hold on to for dear life? The movie that they always play over and over- from betamax, to VHS, to CD and DVD? Yup, the all-time favorite, Pretty Woman. It was about a ‘pick up girl’, and how the rich and handsome bachelor, fell in love with her, accepted her and defies all society odds just to be with her. Wow! But wake up sister. You think their love story ended there? Nope. The fairytale love story needs constant improvement from both to reach the happily ever after ending. In short, develop yourself. Not only do you do it for your guy and for your relationship, but you do it most importantly for your own self. 

2. Do not dream of having it all.

Every girl’s fantasy: meet the love of her life & also meet her soulmate. The reason why Jandi had both Go Jun Pyo and Ji Ho on her side while still staying the best of friends, was because it was just a story! As flowery as its title, Boys Over Flowers made us see how great it was to have someone who inspires us to wake up in the morning and have that one person who helps us live through the whole day. But it also made us decide which one we can live with, and which one we cannot live without. So in reality, you need to make a choice. It’s either you stick with the one you love, or the one who understands you completely. Sorry, you can’t have both, my dear.

3. Never make your dream guy your hero.

“You jump, I jump, right?’ The infamous line that sank along with the movie Titanic. We cried buckets of tears while watching that. But reality check: who, in his right mind, would save someone, just after a one night stand? No one, right? Unless of course if you look like Angelina Jolie, adding to it her millions. So better know how to fend for yourself. You might get the shock of your life when he runs faster than a speeding bullet after a thief tries to mug you in the alley during a supposed-to-be romantic date. Indeed it’s nice to know that he’ll be there for you, but to expect him to sink with you in a freezing ocean, I don’t think so…

4. You can never change your boyfriend- ever.

Sure you might be able to inspire him to do better, but not entirely change him. I know, Jaime was able to change Landon in the movie A Walk to Remember, and how many times we imagine ourselves doing the same thing to our guy, but truth is, it was just from author Nicholas Spark’s unadulterated imagination. I doubt if he himself did such a 360 degree- change for his partner, so don’t wish on it. Instead, check out your boyfriend’s good sides and then tell him how you appreciate it. He might need motivation to improve his weak sides, so make sure you’ll be there to do just that.

5. Expect your boyfriend to be loyal- sure. But faithful? Nah..

Loyalty and faithfulness. You think it’s just the same? Think again. They say loyalty would mean: boyfriend choosing you over the other; faithfulness would mean: boyfriend not arriving at the point wherein he has to choose between you and another girl. You might be ogling at Edward’s undying faithfulness in Twilight. But, as what my male friend stated, it would be theoretically possible for vampires but absolutely so unfeasible for human males. So to set unhurtful expectations, do not waste your energy in making your boyfriend the next Edward “Faithful” Cullen.

So I guess it’s safe to say that we watch and learn. But to compare ourselves with the heroines in happily-ever-after love stories is pure suicide. It would clearly be a road down shattered fantasies and daydreams. Sure we can craft our own love story- far more unforgettable than those love stories we hear and see. As long as we create it with a good grasp of reality, with an open heart and with an open mind, I guess we will be ready, definitely be ready.