Walking Wounded

One of the many things that I love about my job is that an introvert like me gets forced to meet and interact with different kinds of people on a daily basis. And it’s not just a superficial interaction with them either. I’ve found that if I’m to be truly effective in my job, as a teacher, I have to make a real effort to understand my students, to learn their stories, to see things from their point of view, to – as my favorite literary character Atticus Finch says – “climb into their skin and walk around in it.”

And in doing so, I’ve found that everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has been through some form of suffering that the rest of the world can learn from. Some people have borne more than others. But everyone is walking around wounded. None of us are spared. Our humanity makes us susceptible to being hurt and broken.

And because we are walking around wounded, we cannot help but wound others, as well. What I’ve learned throughout these years is that, most people do not go around wanting to hurt others. They react the way they do and treat people the way they do because they are hurting themselves and do not know any other way to act. So the moment someone disrupts my routine, creates a disturbance in my comfort zone or makes me question my self-esteem, I struggle to understand them, to figure out what their stories are and to climb into their skin. Of course, this is easier said than done. On the days when it works, it is because I open myself to grace. Attempting to do it on my own is an exercise in futility.

I’ve noticed that people who have been through less suffering do not necessarily become kinder, more loving people. However, people who’ve gone through unimaginable pain can manage to work beyond it. The difference, I’ve discovered, is not in the degree of suffering but in the person’s conscious decision to make things better for himself and for people around him. Some brave souls have not allowed their brokenness to become an excuse for being hurtful towards others. Some of them have, in fact, used their brokenness as a means of helping others heal. And it is these kinds of people I admire most of all. They are humanity at its best.

The best human beings among us are not those who’ve led the easiest lives but who work to make others’ lives easier. The best human beings are those who’ve suffered much but who cause the least suffering. The best human beings are those who continue to love unconditionally despite having their hearts broken. All human beings walk around wounded—we are all carrying crosses of some sort. But the best human beings refuse to be bowed by the weight of their personal crosses and instead help others carry theirs.