Foreign Views

It was only a matter of adapting and adjusting to one another. David Michael Evans and Flordeliza “Liza” Gaza-Evans have been married for the past 28 years and have some interesting points to share about what it is like being married to someone from a different culture.

“In the beginning, my family was very alien to my wife’s culture, but it was only a matter of introducing our families. It is also a matter of learning, accepting and being patient with one another, then from there, you can easily go with the flow,” David shares. “Being married to a Filipina in comparison is being married to an extended family. It is just so rare in this country to see most families apart from each other.”

Liza then points out regarding the family issue, “One example is that in David’s point of view, to him cousins are only first-degree, children of his parent’s brothers and sisters but to me, just like all Filipinos, cousins are anyone whom you are related to,” she says. “It is sometimes hard for some family members to understand this, but in every relationship, there is prejudice and it could be marrying into your own culture or outside of it, so at the end of the day, it is a matter of speaking the same language and respecting each other’s different needs. After all, you are the ones married to each other.”

Liza then brings up one minor example by comparing the two different ways we celebrate during the holiday season, where we are accustomed to giving presents to almost anyone we know or don’t even know and maybe even pass some presents around if we feel the need to. David explains that it is the complete opposite in the UK where they only give presents to parents, brothers/sisters, grandparents and the rest normally get a card to show that they are thinking of them during the season. “It might seem a little strange on either side, but it is only down to a bit of change depending on where we celebrate,” Liza adds.

David and Liza have a daughter named Tara Marie (who is 28 years old) whom they have raised very well. Having grown up in London, Tara finds difficulty in speaking our language (though she understands it completely), but never refuses to keep up with Filipino entertainment and is always up to date. Her current favorite actor is Aga Mulach and Mahal na Mahal Kita happens to be her favorite song.

One advice to interracial marriages is to not have children if you are unsure of your partner since it could be very difficult for the children to keep up if their parents end up splitting and living in two separate countries. “Marriage is for life and all these years of being together, we have worked so hard on it and can say that we are very happy,” they both share.

David loves to cook English food and enjoys sharing it with the Filipino side of the family. “I once made apple crumble and as negative as this may sound, I did get a bit worried that no one would like my cooking, but then I realized that everyone ate it all up so I guess that they did enjoy it! This made me so happy! I would think that it is a matter of introducing things such as this to people and if they don’t like it, at least they can say that they’ve tried it. I am now thinking of preparing a traditional British Sunday lunch for Liza’s family, a combination of roast beef, baked potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, vegetables topped with gravy, the works! That would be interesting,” he says.

Liza comments with a smile, “Many Filipinos are used to the buffet style when eating and will possibly find it lacking or too big of a portion if served per plate. On the other hand, David is accustomed to having meals served per plate, not buffet style so yes, this should be interesting to see how my family would enjoy David’s Sunday lunch.”

David points out that he loves and adores his wife’s cooking – dishes such as tinolang manok, menudo, mechado, nilagang karne, caldereta and even bibingka, cassava, kutsinta and biko but would 100 percent NOT try balut! “I would think that it might taste nice since a lot of people I know do eat it, but it is the thought of it more than anything else,” David admits.

Their cultures don’t clash as much as it used to in the beginning. “The Philippines has changed during the years that I have been married to my wife. There are more international places to eat, more international films/music and even more foreign people! There’s just so much expansion on a yearly basis and it’s great! An advantage here in The Philippines is the use of the English language, which tears down the language barrier,” says David. At the end of it all, any marriage despite its differences, will work out if you choose to make work the right way as a couple, no doubt about that!