Everybody dies...nobody dies

CEBU, Philippines - When Laling Cabiluna died many many years ago, my father, who was a very good friend, wrote a piece in his daily column “For the Notebook of Greg M. Mercado” in the then Republic News declaring his deep anguish on the passing of his friend and co-worker at DYRC. Laling Cabiluna was a dear friend and my father wanted the readers to know that Laling’s passing was not just a death in the family but also a death in the family of man. He entitled it “Everybody Dies…Nobody Dies,” a title he borrowed from his mentor, the late writer and poet “Cornelio Faigao.”

“Everybody dies…Nobody dies.” In deep pain, I write for the sudden passing of a friend of mine, Winston Escanilla Misa, president of the KMTri-E Foundation. He died on November 13, 2009 while on vacation in Spain with his wife, the former Pat Osmena, a close relative of the Almendras clan of Danao. He had a heart attack. Death came like a thief in the night. Pat lost a soulmate and their daughters Kim and Pearl lost a loving father. I lost a dear friend.  When death came, Winston was 66 years old.

“Everybody Dies…Nobody Dies.” As I hugged Pat, I felt deep loss just like the feeling I had when I lost my wife 19 years ago to a mugger’s bullet. Pat lost someone so close to her, who loved her and protected her through all these years. Winston was a good husband, a provider, a loving father, and a friend. Through the eyes of his daughter Pearl, I see Winston’s inquisitive when we analyzed a problem at hand. The somehow strict countenance of Kim, his other daughter, reminds me of the time he admonished me for being out of line in ribbing a fellow brother who hails from Bohol. All I said then was “Forgive me…Mea Culpa, Mea maxima culpa,” and he answered, “Amen.”

“Everybody Dies…Nobody Dies.” Winston was a professed conservative and I will always be a liberal. But it never bothered us. We talked of things that unite us rather than of things that divide us. Winston was smart and bright. He can discuss in an intelligent and rational way what works and how to make it work. He can grasp and understand the writings of Stephen Hawking about how the universe came to be and could understand what Mark Twain wants to convey in his works. He went to UP Diliman and then finished his Mechanical Engineering degree at USC. He joined General Milling Corporation in Lapulapu City after passing the board in 1965; sometime in 1969, the family migrated to the U.S. He studied for a time at UCLA and took the Professional Engineering (P.E.) California State Examination. He was a licensed California P.E. At the time of his death, he was connected with HMC Architectural and Engineering and was tasked in evaluating and assessing drawings, and writing engineering specifications. He will be missed…and he will not die as long as he is remembered for his works….the underground subways in Los Angeles, the international airports in Ontario and Los Angeles Airports, the Kaiser Hospitals, and various school constructions.

“Everybody Dies…Nobody Dies.” Winston and his classmates Mars Pastor and the late Dodong Corazo were like peas in the pod. Winston was silent, Dodong was smiling, and Mars was always good-naturedly loud. And as diverse as the three of them, they stuck together friends to the last. Dodong has long been dead and was remembered…and now it’s Winston turn. Vic Orcullo, another classmate and fraternity brother, has his own cherished moments of camaraderie with Winston. Theirs is a relationship of friendship that transcend the meaning of brotherhood in good times as well as in bad. In each of their individual hearts, Winston lives for as long as they live.

“Everybody Dies…Nobody Dies.” The moment that each one of us is born, that is the start of our “own dying.” Births can be predicted by just counting months but it is not for us to predict our “own dying.” In our “own dying,” we will never know as to when and how and whether we will cry out in pain, in tears, or just simply in deathly silence. It is only for us to expect that death lies before us…certainly, unpredictably. Our “own dying” is ominously coming and as we remember Winston, we too will be remembered by those we have touched… for truly “Everybody Dies…Nobody Dies.”

Everybody Dies…Nobody Dies.” Winston died on Friday, the 13th of November in Spain. I found it fitting to partly quote the poem of John Donne and of which Earnest Hemingway titled his book about the Civil War in Spain…

“No Man is an Island

Complete by Itself

The death of one, diminishes the whole

Therefore

Never send to know

For Whom the Bell Tolls

It Tolls for Thee”

Godspeed, Winston E. Misa!