The Itch for the Unnecessary: Confessions of a Teenage Kleptomaniac

CEBU, Philippines - Silver-coated, sturdy-looking, and definitely sparkling to my eyes. It was shiny and it felt good when it finally touched my palm. It felt even better as I slipped it inside the side pocket of my tight jeans. For some reasons however, I began to ask myself the same question that I have been dealing with for the last couple of years—why on earth was I stealing something I did not need? What would I do with a screwdriver this time?

There I was again, having the urge to just get hold of something for no identifiable reason. Like an encore of a haunting memory, I once again surrendered to the itchiness of my hands and the yearning in my head to just “go get it.” I knew I was in serious trouble when I inadvertently — or not — stole my friend’s eyeglasses. With 175/200 vision, it was terribly hard for her to endure a day without her artificial sight. Whether she was on the verge of crying or going ballistic, I could not tell. I just knew that her temper was not something I could get away with by just apologizing and saying “I can’t help it.” While controlling my urges was a serious issue for me, I was still sane enough to avoid trouble. As guilty as I was, I kept the glasses for weeks until the right moment to return it would come. Unfortunately, that moment never came and I could never look at my friend again without a stain of guilt.

I did not know why I did it. I had a clue but it took long before I finally accepted the bitter fact that I might be a kleptomaniac. I was just seventeen then, and during those moments that I realized how dire my situation was, I began to wonder why I ended up that way. As I secretly researched on the topic and discovered its causes and treatments, I knew I needed professional help.

Kleptomania is an impulse control disorder characterized by a recurrent failure to resist stealing. It is often distinguished by tension before the act, euphoria during the act, and shame after the act. Peculiarly though, people with this disorder do not appear reluctant to do it again after being caught, nor do they steal because they could not afford to pay for the items they took. Most kleptomaniacs develop a preference for a specific type of item. For me, anything with a touch of silver was thrilling enough. Although it may have a genetic component and may be transmitted among first-degree relatives, the real cause of such disorder is still unknown. Obsessive-compulsive disorder, bulimia nervosa, and clinical depression have a tendency to coexist with kleptomania.

Three years after facing the biggest shadow of my supposedly normal life, I am currently going through the painstaking process of healing. To say that I am utterly healed would be a lie because no complete cure for kleptomania has been found. Acceptance is the very first step to defy the unsolicited condition. Treatment is highly recommended to help restrain the instinct to steal. Treatment usually includes counseling and sometimes drug therapy. But prevention is still the best remedy. It is said that healthy upbringing, positive intimate relationships, and management of acutely stressful situations can lower the incidence of kleptomania and coexisting disorders.

Unable to resist the impulse to take something without paying for it, a kleptomaniac steals for the thrill. If thrill is all I’m after, then I am glad to know that I am facing a more enthralling twist—resisting to scratch the itch to steal. Now how thrilling is that?