Miscommunication in the Family: A Cause of Teenage Pregnancy

CEBU, Philippines - Most girls in their peer group are busy completing their thesis, but Veronica and Shane (not their real names), are both starting to act upon a tougher challenge at the age of 19.

 Veronica just delivered a baby girl and is worried about the expenses of a Caesarean Section operation due to the baby’s breech presentation. She was brought to tears after the delivery because her family, who has other expenditures to take care of, cannot help her boyfriend in paying the hospital bills.

Shane, on the other hand, was pressured by her parents not to follow the footsteps of her elder sister who got pregnant at the age of 19; but she too, gave birth to a baby out of wedlock.

“My life is a lot more different compared to how it was before. I used to go out freely with my friends, but now I have a daughter to look after. At night I could even barely sleep,” Shane shared in the dialect.

Veronica and Shane both reveal that they suffered from the frustrations of their parents from the mistakes done by their elder siblings. They hardly had personal conversations with them during the moments wherein they were at most confused.

“As a teenager, I felt that I was controlled and misunderstood. My parents were so strict because they didn’t want me to follow my older brother and sister who left home for good. It was as if every frustration was built up on me, I could no longer handle it,” Veronica expressed.

Ms. Ditas Orozco, head of the Psychology Department at St. Theresa’s College (STC), said that aside from the effects of teenage alcoholism, peer pressure, and low self-esteem, the lack of open communication between parents and children is among the leading causes of teens giving in to premarital sex.

“The family is the basis for the formation of values of children. Parents face a lot of competition from their children’s friends, and even from the media. This is the reason why they have to be firm in the values they inculcate and they have to keep their communication lines open within the family,” Orozco stated.

At an age where higher exposure to sex is made readily available by different media portals, teenagers are left to their friends for opinions regarding the input. Mrs. Sancha Aguila, Pyschology teacher and Guidance Counselor of the STC College Department, said that this is the ultimate reason why parents should constantly be involved in the lives of their children so as to correct the information their kids gather from their surroundings.

Aguila also mentioned that teenagers who engage in premarital sex are usually those who come from broken homes or those with struggling relationships within the family. Studies show that a child raised by both parents in an intact family is less likely open to sexual risk-taking than those raised by separated parents.

“In the presence of harmonious interpersonal relationships within the family, teenagers will be guided accordingly,” said Aguila. She suggests that family meetings are very helpful in order to clarify issues and concerns of each member.

Orozco added that when children are not made to understand the rules their parents have set for them, they rebel and this is where they start making the wrong decisions; therefore, constant dialogue is important to settle each other’s differences as well as to express their concern and affection for one another.

Teenagers are at their most vulnerable stage in life and this is the point where they need love, protection and guidance the most. As for Veronica and Shane, they already have a list of what-and-what-nots as beginner parents, learning from what they have gone through.

“Now that I am a mom, I will make sure that I would be able to give my child the proper guidance—that she will always be listened to,” Veronica said..