OMG! My Mom Wants to Join Facebook!

CEBU, Philippines - When my mom told me she wanted to join Facebook, I had mixed feelings about it—a mixture of shock, threat, and generally repulsion towards the fact that my mom (grown-up alert!) would soon be penetrating the last stronghold of teen and young adult super secret activities.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my mother very much. It’s just that I could not quite handle the fact that my dear, beloved mother has set her eyes on what I thought was the bastion of all teen-age and young adult kabuang. You guys know Facebook, and you guys know that it’s really not just about Farmville and Mafia Wars.

Facebook is that little world somewhere in the ninth galaxy of cyber space where kids like us could practically do and be with (well, okay almost) whatever and whoever suits our fancy. We can goof around with our pals, okay flirt a little bit here and there, spill not-so-secrets on random threads, lose ourselves in our virtual communities, and even tag that jerk next door as a toothpick.

But the thing about Facebook is that it’s so convenient for parents (should they actually jump in and join) to go on a spying spree at their kids’ secret cyber lives. I can’t imagine my mother actually going over layers upon layers of old posts, some of which, although generally harmless but filled with stuff enough to make me die of embarrass-ment, I wished I could or had deleted eons ago.

I cannot bear the thought of having my mother upload naked baby pics of me and posting it on my wall. I can’t imagine her putting up an entire album of my baby and toddler years for the whole world—and of course, for my entire community of friends—to laugh their heads off on. 

We all know how totally strange our parents can be. Especially when they find it really cute to make our cheeks flush out of utter embarrassment and how they just effortlessly make bulgar some of our deepest, darkest, childhood mishaps all in front of the very people we want to appear totally cool and suave to.

If it’s any consolation, there’s a part of me that still breathe a sigh of relief considering that my mom generally hasn’t found the time yet to create that dreaded Facebook account. That means, I still have mucho tiempo to convince her against it.

Honestly, I prefer keeping my cyber skeletons in the closet where they won’t freak out anyone—especially my mom *wink*.

(Wake up to the real world — cool people beyond 60 years old are enjoying Facebook, meeting long lost friends and posting their fun photos. Better get ready for your mom’s entrance! — Ed.)