Understanding the teenagers

The teenage phase is believed to be the battle ground of parents and their children.  I went through this battle when I entered college. I was confused and disoriented at that time and life, for me, seemed uncertain. Then I realized that I had to face so many issues, which included what others expect of me.

Confrontations and arguments are typical scenarios in a parent – teenager relationship.  These things happen because most parents have the notion that the teenage years are crucial times of seeking independence and rebellion.  More often than not, parents approach a child’s transition with some misgivings.  Ideally, these conflicts could have been avoided if parents would only extend their understanding.  With this, I truly mean understanding, in the real sense of the word.

“Teenager” is a loaded word, loaded in the sense that along with it comes a great deal of negative adjectives such as rebellious, self-centered, moody and argumentative.  But little do most people know that teenagers suffer in silence the pains and struggles that they face.

…in their desire to establish oneself

In general, teens essentially need to establish their identity. Because of this, teenagers slowly transform from a frail dependent child to an independent individual. They want to be able to control things and this is the cause of conflict with their parents.

…in discovering new experiences

In their desire to become independent, teens often discover new experiences by challenging authority and testing rules. This phase has negative and positive results. The bad side is – teens would learn to break norms and rules.  However, this would enable the teens to learn lessons. Parents can help by encouraging their teens to assume responsibilities while continuing to provide guidance.

…their need to be understood

Parents should learn to accept the phase that their teenager is going through. Accepting this reality will lead to better understanding. The feeling and sense of belongingness will boost these teens’ morale and confidence to conform to what is right and acceptable.