My Own Private Carbon

Escape.

This is the ultimate recourse for somebody exhausted with life.  Yet, how does one detach from something that has been an unvarying counterpart of his self?

In my 20 years of existence, having gone to obnoxious places was never new to me.  To me, visiting the Carbon Market is a lot similar to visiting a part of myself.  Like the Carbon market, my life has been a large outdoor market of tribulations and emotions brought about by vendors who seem not to give a damn of their surroundings.  My life seems to be as colorful, dramatic and obnoxious as the Carbon Market. 

One time, I went through a little excursion with my friend inside the vicinity of Carbon Market, the place that is flagged down to be the most dangerous and filthiest in the city yet considered the largest outdoor market where you can buy vegetables, seafood, meat and household goods.  Filthy as being described by the majority, the area was indeed surrounded by vegetable peelings, dismantled stalls, cartons, oversized baskets, everything.  The vendors will greet you on your way offering their commodities. Sounds of sold livestock could be heard.  The smell of the dried fish is widely spread in the air.  The streets were muddy and stinky.  The stalls are scattered anywhere.   The path was like a maze that if one was not that familiar with the place he would eventually get lost inside the market.  It was a labyrinth of cheap goods and commodities, which is why people would sacrifice to go into the place.  The people of Carbon seem not to give a damn to their surroundings.  Their primary concern is to sell all their products in order to have a good profit afterwards.   If you were not to mind the cheap goods and commodities that it offers, literally, Carbon is an obnoxious place for anyone. 

Nonetheless, the Carbon Market often tells a story of my life which I tried to set aside.  Over and over again, the place narrates about a “self” who is trapped and lost inside the chaotic Carbon life.

Metaphorically, Carbon defines a lot about me.  The undesirable qualities that it possesses relate about the suppressed feelings that I had in my self.  The noise and smell that it spread recount my endless grumblings that have been left unnoticed.

Vendors will greet you on your way offering their commodities

It was the transition phase of my life when I met some people who tend to influence and eventually recast your own idealisms and perspectives in life.  People who seem to manipulate your thoughts and in due course inculcate their outlook to your own personality. I was troubled then, I felt like being controlled by people who radically dictate your ways and your style of living your life.  It was the time when I rave to the highest point with myself.

The streets were muddy and stinky…

Despite the uncertainties, I still manage to continue with life.  I continue to tread life’s challenges and obstacles.  I told my self to always hold on even though; at times, we tread on muddy and stinky roads.  Roads, which do not always go in our way.  In as much as we try to evade these roads, we cannot possibly find ways to deliver ourselves away from it, because in the end, these roads would shape us to become strong and determined individuals.

The path was like a maze that if one was not that familiar with the place he would eventually get lost inside…

Life has always something to teach us, either in the hard or easy way.  These are moments when I feel uncertain about myself.  These are the times when vagueness envelope the deepest realm of my heart that I cannot comprehend as to where to go. Subconsciously, I was treading into this long and winding road for the longest time now.  Sometimes, in my desire to find my heart’s longings I, by accident deviate to the path that is not intended for my welfare.  I am directed to the way that could perhaps devastate whatever I have right now and in time get lost inside this labyrinth of sadness and ambiguity.

The people of Carbon seem not to give a damn to their surroundings…

Truly, this life is never surrounded with people whom you can definitely call “true” people.  In this confusing world, one will have a hard time finding genuine people.  Everyday we meet people who will give their smiles to us yet unknowingly hold a grudge towards us.  We should always be wary with some people who never seem to care about us.  People who are insensitive with other people’s feelings.  Because at times, in our aspiration to conform to what is going on in our society, we associate ourselves to people who are no good to us.  Little did we know that we are treasuring stones rather than diamonds.

As we continue to stride along life’s journey.  We encounter different challenges that may destroy and dismay us.  We will meet vendors who will offer their own perspectives to influence us.  We will come across muddy and stinky streets that will shake our determination.  There would be times when the paths would seem to wind away from us.  We will sometimes realize that we are going inside a labyrinth of confusions and despair.   More often than not, we feel disgusted with people who think highly of themselves; people who are insensitive with other people’s emotions; people who never give a damn to our welfare.  Nevertheless, be brave, for after all, these things characterize who you are.  You have to face it; you have to struggle with it and in the end feel the glory of vindication and contentment for conquering your own private Carbon.