Grown up

When my cousins and I were growing up, my grandmother used to measure our growth by marking our height on the wall near the door of her room. Then, she would put our names and the date next to the line indicating our current height. Since I was the youngest and therefore the smallest of all my cousins, it was comforting to see my growth throughout the years and to realize that there were moments in their lives when my cousins were shorter than I was.

The interesting thing about growing up is that we don’t realize we’re growing until we actually take the time to measure ourselves. And that’s just physical growth. It is doubly hard to see how far we’ve come in terms of our mental, emotional, psychological and spiritual growth. Unless we take a good hard look at ourselves, we often don’t realize how close or how far we are to our ideal selves. And sometimes, it is just as difficult to see how those closest to us have grown as well. Which is perhaps why, our oldest and closest friends are the last to realize how much we’ve actually grown.

The other week, my friends and I were having our customary weekend dinner. As always, we talked about all the things we were currently up to, peppered with little anecdotes and references to our college days. And that’s when it hit me. College was seven years ago! High school eleven years ago! And grade school fifteen years ago! (That doesn’t sound much to others, I know, but you have to remember I’ve only been alive for 28 years!) I have actually spent almost twice the number of years out of college than I did in college and yet I still referred to my friends as my college friends. And what was more surprising was the fact that my friends had actually grown up. They have actually turned out to be the entrepreneurs, corporate executives and parents that I once imagined yet never really believed they would be.

And truth be told, I am quite awed at the people they’ve become. Not so much because they’ve accomplished much but because they’ve gone through much. It is a beautiful thing to watch someone you love come into their own. And it is a privilege to be allowed to be a part of someone’s becoming. It is a gift to be invited to share in dreams unfolding, thoughts unraveling, hearts breaking, relationships blossoming, and identities shaping.

My friends and I have grown up. But I would also like to think that we have grown with and through each other. That somehow our late night coffee sessions, spontaneous conversations and genuine concern for each other have helped us grow into the persons we are. While it is true that we have much still to learn, it is also true that we have learned much and grown much and loved much.