I have a friend with the code name of “Stargirl”, she’s beautiful, smart and funny. She was everyone’s dream girlfriend. A year into a relationship, she stays over at the guy’s house almost every night, so my friends and I assumed it was just a matter of time before they officially shacked up. But instead of making like a modern-day Romeo and presenting her with a gilded key to his castle, he did what most members of the male species would usually do—absolutely nothing.
This kind of confusing behavior is built into the male code of conduct, so it could be eons until they’ve evolved enough to actually come right out and say what they want. In the meantime, guys (and a couple of others with an iota of self-awareness) have attempted to spell out the times when their seemingly stay away signals are actually saying they are ready to get serious.
SIGN # 1—
He invites you to chug beers with his buds.
What you think it means: He’s letting you know that his friends come first.
What it really means: A guy’s peeps are sacred to him. So when he opens the door to his drinking den, he’s letting you know that you mean just as much as to him as his pals do.. if not, more. It’s only important to introduce his girl to his closest pals when things take a serious turn. Of course, he also wants to assure himself that you and his cronies can kick it together before he gets any deeper.
SIGN # 2—
He books a last minute trip with the guys.
What you think it means: He’s taking off so he can salivate over other girls.
What it really means: When a man finds himself falling in love, he feels the urge to slam on the brakes—if only to catch his breath. Think about it:Up until now, as fas as he was concerned, the world revolved around him. The idea that you’ve become the center of his universe is a little disorienting. So no matter how committed he is to changing his single status, he has to prove to himself that he won’t lose his autonomy completely.
SIGN # 3—
The wining-and-dining-you days are over.
What you think it means: He has quit romancing because he doesn’t care.
What it really means: In the early days of dating, guys max out their credit cards taking you to different restaurants because, well, they wanted to impress you. Guys can’t imagine a girl would fall for them on their charms alone, so they up the ante with all the romantic amenities. And face it, being together before really knowing each other is awkward, at best. Once guys are close to you, they dispense with the distractions. The simple act of being with his girlfriend is enough.
SIGN # 4—
He picks fights and won’t back down.
What you think it means: Men will do anything to avoid confrontation, so he must be trying to get you to break up with him.
What it really means: You’re (half) right. Most men would rather jump in front of a speeding train than get into a shouting match with a woman. But when a guy is thinking about leaving his bachelorhood behind, he wants to make sure he’s not condemning himself to a life of “yes,dears.” By pushing the girl’s hot buttons, he’s double-checking that you aren’t a big-time hard-ass. Plus. He’s secure enough in the relationship to know that a tiff won’t tear you apart.
SIGN # 5—
He says he’ll never marry.
What you think it means: he’s avoided the M word like new underwear, but now he’s saying it’s not even an option!
What it really means: This could well be the most contradictory of male behaviors. But remember this: Guys are communication klutzes. They can’t just say they have marriage on their minds, so they cloak talk of tying the knot in humor. Truth is, a guy who’s scared to take the plunge won’t even allude to the “I do” idea. The fact that he even mentions matrimony without choking means he’s open to the notion even if it’s not on his immediate agenda. So the next time your boyfriend makes a crack about his eternal single-stud status, just smile and pat your future fiance on the head.