The Wages of Fear

Therapists have long identified fear, uncontrollable fear, as a deterrent to a peaceful and happy life. It can make a person feel powerless and, thus, unable to satisfactorily participate in the living process. It is said that one is in constant torment, who feels fear in his heart.

Fear is actually a survival mechanism, an alarm system to prepare us to react to danger. It is borne out of our instinctive sense of foresight, the way we assess possible outcomes of present – especially uncertain and ominous – situations. In the course of a normal day, we are all constantly bombarded by fearful thoughts and feelings, about just anything.

However, the problem arises when fear overwhelms us, immobilizing us and causing us to avoid certain challenges and actions, most of which may actually be opportunities for personal growth. When it already makes us doubt our own capacity to overcome dangers or difficulties that are otherwise normal occurrences in our life journey, it is apparently not healthy anymore. At such level, fear works against us, instead of for us.

Even simple fears can become debilitating, when left unchecked. Situations that were once easy to handle become terrifying. And this usually happens without us knowing it. We only become aware of the problem when we’re already whirling in a negative spiral of fear and vulnerability, and more fear and more vulnerability.

To keep away from getting into this miserable rut, we must try to always keep our heads above our fears. We must try to see the truths behind the creepy images that disturb our peace. It may not be so easy to do, but it can be done. The following steps will help:

Know that your case is not unique. Often people think they are the only ones in the world suffering from fear. Such faulty notion only worsens the problem, because a person gripped by fear and feeling alone is further pushed down by lowered self-confidence and solitude. There are actually millions who suffer from some fear or a combination of fears, and are hindered from living fully functional lives. These people can learn a lot from each other’s experience, to add to their own self-understanding of their problem.

Think that your fears may not be factual. It is perfectly normal to feel fear when faced with dangerous situations: snake slithering towards you, a gun pointed in your direction, possible loss of a job, or a life-threatening illness. All fears, though, are not so rational. The feeling of fear itself can muddle one’s assessment of the feared situation, rendering him liable to react in exaggerated proportions. And certain fears can occur without warning and for no apparent reason, so that it’s all the more difficult to handle them objectively. 

Identify your fears. Take some time and make a list of everything you can think of that makes you afraid. Include all situations that you currently avoid for the simple reason that they give you some uncomfortable panicky feeling. Also note down how each fear makes you feel: doesn’t bother you much, causes you moderate discomfort, hinders you from functioning normally, and so on.

Get to know your fears better. Going over your list, try to analyze why each fear makes you feel the way it does. This will help you to realize that many of your fears are simply negative amplifications of certain unfamiliar situations or possibilities, or have no actual basis at all. Study what you fear and why you fear it; doing this is sometimes enough to diffuse the intensity of your fright.

Deal with your fears one at a time. Trying to overcome too many fears at one time can be either confusing or overwhelming, and, therefore, may only turn out unsuccessful. Look over your list of fears and pick one that you wish to tackle. It’s good to work first on the fear that causes you the least hassle and is easier to resolve. The idea is for you to gain mastery over your lesser fears, building up your confidence to tackle the more terrifying situations later.

Do it to the end. Beginning with the least frightening situation, earnestly work on each item on your list. After you have mastered an easier situation, go on to the next. It is important to note that you will probably be frightened at first. But the fear will usually fade in gravity as you begin to confront it head on. You will feel more and more confident at each fear you are able to conquer.

Consistently keep at your efforts of facing up to your fears, and you will soon find out that many of the things you dread are not as horrible as you thought. That’s the way to dispel the power of fear over you. In the end, you will be able to control your fears, instead of them controlling you.