Singleness is a gift

The conversation I had with my friend a few months ago still occupies my mind until now. I will never forget her subtle way of saying that I need to get into a romantic relationship. I may not totally recall her words but she went like this, "I think it's about time for you to have some colors, light and bright." My heart jumped, confused on what to feel. I got what she meant and immediately I wondered, is there really something wrong with me being single?

I understand my friend's concern. Reaching the legal age of 18, it is just normal to get a partner and enjoy bright days together. She also knew that two of my classmates, who became my close friends in college, are sporting happy faces with their boyfriends. Perhaps, I don't appear as blossoming as they are. She might have also left the pressure of my singleness in the midst of my close friends who are going steady.

But for me, there is no big deal. After all, I've been through being involved twice already. Most of my college classmates and friends would not believe me, but it is true. Yes, that popular t-shirt statement "NO Boyfriend Since Birth" does not fit me at all.

I had two past relationships. Both ended in pain. I can now say that those ended because of immaturity, insincerity and an absence of commitment. Those times will never be easy to forget and I guess, I never will. Besides, those times are already part of me. After the last, I pledged not to put myself to so much pain again. Not until I'm ready. But the question bounced back, when would I be ready? On that, I am not certain.

I am happy with my status now though sometimes I felt incomplete upon seeing couples filled with so much joy. However, I do not regret closing my doors to romance especially when I hear stories of hurt due to break-ups and other related problems. It is good to feel that I'm safe. Singleness is my advantage. Singleness is my tool against tears and a means towards youthful happiness.

I have been viewing singleness as my valuable asset. This is the very time that I am truly enjoying life without the hassles and demands of a romantic relationship. But when I am all alone feeling the solemnity and peace of the world, my heart and mind long for the sense of purpose. What could be God's will behind my singleness?

Everything became clear to me when my Christian adviser handed me the book entitled "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. I became interested and very excited to read it. I sensed there is so much in the book I needed to know. After reading the last page, I was indeed right! Realities and realizations of being single were revealed. Singleness is not just a matter of choice and circumstances. The book says, "It is a gift."

There is so much to learn and do in life under the will of God. Joshua Harris claims that having a boyfriend or girlfriend would distract us from the work God wants us to do. God has the best things for us and so He wants us to seek the best in everything including our romantic relationships. But we will never get the best from Him unless we are totally prepared, responsible and worthy. As Joshua Harris adds, we need to prepare and develop our character so we can become as flexible and useful for Him as possible, no matter what He plans for our future.

Singleness is a gift where we can have the freedom to explore and study all the corners of the world. This is our chance to grow, learn and serve our fellowmen and the Lord. This is the season where we can make the best for His kingdom and prove to Him that we truly deserve the best things He has planned for each of us.

Now, I realize how much singleness helps me. It protects me from the sorrows of romance. It gives me more concentration on my studies. It tightens my relationship with my family and friends since I have all the time to be with them. Most of all, this singleness directs me towards my spiritual growth. It keeps me firmly rooted on the path towards God.

I am all right. I do not mean that I want to stay single forever. Of course not! I am actually praying for a happy family of my own in God's time. But I am submitting this to God's will. In the meantime, I will use my gift of singleness to fulfill my purpose. That is to become an instrument for whatever God wants me to do until I am ready for commitment. Love does not need to be rushed. As Wycliffe Bible Commentary says, "Love should not be stirred up before its proper time, because the love relationship, unless carefully guarded, may cause grief instead of the great joy it should bring to the human heart."