The Christmas Fair

Christmas was a lot different 15 years ago. I was still in high school then. Since there were no malls, all we had were White Gold and Robinson's, which closed at 7:00 p.m. To make matters worse, the city's nightlife was next to non-existent. There was no Vudu, no Formo and definitely no Halo. So, come Christmas time, we would be looking forward to just one thing - The Christmas Fair.

There are many reasons to justify having a Christmas Fair, especially if you want to sucker, I mean "to convince", the school to allow you to do so: Helping our less fortunate brothers and sisters, to have a day of enjoyment for the whole family, to further develop relations between students and the faculty. The truth is, there was only one reason why we staged such an event - GIRLS.

I went to an all-boy's school and with 364 days out 365 with no girls, even your seatmate began to look pretty. Having the Christmas fair was one way to herd the girls in.

Laugh all you want, I'm sure the girls were thinking the same way, too. All those boys under one gymnasium were just ripe for the picking - it was open season for hunters. I'm surprised they didn't come to the event armed with nets, rifles and clubs. I'm surprised we didn't come to the event with nets, rifles and clubs. The fair had the usual attractions like the horror booth, the jail booth, horse rides; dunk the teacher, blowing up the urinals with firecrackers (Kidding!). But, let's face it, we were only there for one thing -- The Marriage Booth.

To be able to go to the booth, you need to find yourself a girl. You do this by paying someone to handcuff your desired partner. Once this is successfully done, you and your newly-acquired partner march down the aisle to be "married" by the minister-in-charge (who was usually just your classmate dressed in white robes). After the ceremony, we would get to the best part - the part that made dragging a kicking-and-screaming-but-in-reality-really-enjoying-herself girl to the altar worthwhile. This was the part where you may kiss the "bride".

Handcuffing went both ways. If you were not careful, you could get handcuffed, too. If a girl fancied you, she could have you handcuffed and dragged, kicking and screaming, to the Marriage Booth. If your friends or the girl's friends wanted to set you both up, you could get handcuffed and dragged to the Marriage Booth. But, if you're like me, your friends just handcuffed you to the drainpipe.

Looking back, I really can't complain even if I was really handcuffed to that drainpipe. Those were fun times that none of your Vudus, Formos or Halos can even hope to match -- even someone actually did blow up the urinals with firecrackers (Sorry, Mr. L--!). I mean, where else can you run around chasing girls with your handcuffs? I hear that's illegal in most parts of the world.