Malka musings

CEBU, Philippines —  For beauty queen Malka Shaver, it’s all about living in the present.

“People always ask me about how it feels after winning, and my answer is always the same. I feel like Malka. Maybe if I become like Gandhi or Jesus, then I’ll feel different,” begins the Miss Dumaguete 2014, Miss Mandaue 2016, Binibining Cebu 2017 Top 12 finisher and Miss Manila 2018 first runner-up winner.

With a surety that came after a lot of soul searching, the 23-year-old seems to have a firm idea of who she is. Or at the very least, where she is in the process of self-discovery.

“Who is Malka without the crown and the sash? For the most part, the same. Malka is really passionate. She came from a lot of hurt so she wants to heal herself. She wants to really see the world become a better place. She sometimes has her own world,” she continues with a laugh.

Describing herself as “very Ate,” Malka is the eldest daughter in an extended brood. Born to a Dumagueteño father and a Manileña mother, Malka moved around a lot during her childhood. She spent her first until sixth grade in Manila, and then a couple of years in Far Eastern University and UP Diliman for her college studies.

But for the most part, Malka is a Dumagueteña through and through. Growing up with her grandparents as the family somehow drifted apart, Malka soon learned to fend for herself.

“Struggle because I come from a broken family. I am only now realizing the effects of that. Sometimes, ikaw mismo ang mag-exclude sa imong self from people and other things. You feel like you don’t belong anywhere. Also, because I’m mestiza people think I’m rich but that’s not it. I grew up with people who were rich and maka-compare ko with my clothes, and the things they had that I didn’t have. That was so evident to me,” the model shares.

Often feeling neglected because her parents had families of their own, Malka grew to love entertaining the people who did pay attention to her.

The mass communication graduate from Silliman University began her pageant life in high school when she was up against college girls for the prestigious Miss Silliman title. She didn’t win anything, hence the drive to redeem herself. She eventually became Dumaguete’s most beautiful after clinching the Miss Dumaguete 2014 crown.

“Miss Dumaguete was to redeem myself from Miss Silliman. Then I joined Miss Mandaue because you miss it eh. After joining a pageant and you pass on the crown, you kind of feel empty for the year that follows,” she says.

Joining Miss Mandaue had been for the fun of it. Malka found it tough, competing against gorgeous girls. And as she joined the first staging of Binibining Cebu the year after, Malka, who represented Mandaue City, felt like she could be up for a national pageant after her intense experience competing against 53 other candidates.

Malka, who would like to enter the media industry, loves how pageantry is a mind game. She likes the thrill of having to hack her brain, enjoys meeting new people and learning new things. On the other hand, she dislikes the pressure and scrutiny.

The key, she says, is to focus on yourself. “When you think of your competition, it’s like you’re giving them the power. It’s counter-productive. The only way that I don’t lose even if I lose the competition is to make the best out of this experience and actually grow. The best way to do that is to be better than myself and to focus on myself.” 

When you’re in your 20s, some might feel like you want to be successful immediately. For a beauty queen like Malka, she’s just as apprehensive of aging and just as thoughtful of success. However, she’s learned to enjoy where she is now.

“I complained about how people stared at me but I remember my mom saying that someday, people are just going to stop looking at you so you might as well enjoy it. I’m 23 now, so it’s almost up. I just want to finish pageantry, and let it go so I won’t regret and wonder what might happen. I’ve learned not to get attached even when I’m young and pretty, because I now someday it’ll go away,” she says.

“I feel like because of social media, we have this projection of the life that’s better than what we actually have. We see what everybody is doing, and think that you want to be better and be just as successful,” she says. “It’s not like I feel like I have a time limit, it’s more of like, I’m working too slowly.”

Her sincerity and realness are her strongest suits, she says.

“You can see when someone is rehearsed. I don’t aim to really perform. I aim to have fun and to show you that this is me. I try to connect to the audience, and not just look at these people as if one-way mirror lang. I see them too, and by the time it’s my turn, I feel like all of them are my friends already,” Malka says.

“People tell me that when I answer it’s like me talking to my friends. I don’t rehearse, I connect. When faced with a judge, people expect me to give this flowery speech but it’s just me talking. I don’t think you can train that. That has to be who you are. If you’re involved, observant, always searching for answers, trying to find where you stand in issues, being a role model—it will show.”

Among Malka’s beauty queen heroines are Binibining Cebu Charity 2017 and her good friend Maria Gigante, and Miss Universe 2015 Pia Wurtzbach, while one of her role models is former first lady of the United States, Michelle Obama.

“I really look up to Maria Gigante. She’s a really smart girl, really philosophical. She tries to really help me, even outside of pageantry. I ask her for advice and she just gives me one liners and I’m like—you’re right, that’s so deep,” Malka says.

“Pia Wurtzbach—her personality shines even when she’s queenly and everything. You still see the Pia outside the stage—the kalog, Filipino, loud, vibrant, funny and smart. She can channel that on stage and show her personality and heart and she’s still very queenly.”

Growing up in a huge family with her half-siblings, Malka saw the affection towards the younger ones and the power play of the elders. That was the reason why she has always been quick to call out inequality. Malka soon moved on to bigger things, like gender equality for the LGBTQ community. Malka admits that it’s tough trying to find where she stands on whether a transgender candidate should be allowed to compete at Miss Universe.

“This is so hard because I’m really a supporter of the LGBTQ community. Ever since high school before it was even popular. I was talking about this with my friends and I also don’t know my stand. You know how in sports, they always separate the men and the women because it has something to do with strength and ability. On the other hand, if we don’t let Miss Spain proceed to Miss Universe, it’s like we’re also disregarding everything the trans community has fought for,” Malka shares.

She personally finds nothing wrong with having to compete against a trans candidate. If anything, Malka admits she would feel a bit threatened, because they’ve had help trying to achieve the ideal features, and because their perspective of life is wider.

Malka also spoke about how she doesn’t get the way people pit women against each other, especially on the pageant industry. She understands that passionate fans have their pros and cons, but she also points out how important it is to be positive.

“I think it can be a good and a bad thing. Just like me, I’m really a passionate person so when I love, I really love but when I hate, I also really hate. So I think, especially when we choose our winners, these are women of substance who have beautiful hearts. And if people care about that so much, then these women have the ability to mobilize. That’s good if these fans are looking up to the right people who will channel all of that passion into something good.”

As for the cons, Malka says: “I really don’t understand that. Even in our politics. Why are you pitting people against each other? I’m all about positive vibes.”

Growing up in the calm and beautiful city of Dumaguete, Malka is also an advocate for nature, and urges big companies, who have the resources to switch to a greener business to start thinking about the environment.

She advises fellow advocates, regardless of cause, to not be vain in their anger. Instead, when trying to get a point across, one has to lose their pride for the greater cause.

“The anger will come across because you’re passionate and because you really care. Maybe sa drive, it will help to be angry. But it’s something that even I, myself have to learn. People won’t listen to you if you’re on the other side of things. What we really need is dialogue so we learn from each other. I’m guilty of this sometimes. When it comes to things you know are for the good of the world and not about you, you have to let go of your ego para your message will come across. No matter how beautiful or good it is that you’re fighting for, if you won’t deliver it in a way that people can accept, then you lose the battle by being too vain in your anger,” Malka says.

Always strong in the eyes of many, Malka quips that she had to be that to somehow fill in the strength that her mother could not project. But she’s not the type to be sweet or motherly. She’s the type to make sure you pull yourself together. She’s the type to achieve something and hope that her younger siblings develop a bigger ambition as well. At the same time, she’s also not afraid of being weak.

Her greatest fear is unlived potential and losing herself. Which is why she’s always up to try new things and makes it a point to be real. She says that her dream is to have a family, but she also wants to make the most of her time while waiting.

When asked why she thinks she wins titles and places well in competitions, Malka can’t even pin the reason herself.

“They say it’s luck. For me, I think there’s a bigger plan. We’re all pieces of a puzzle. I like to mediate and share things and maybe this is my piece. I don’t think the universe will give you such a platform if you don’t make use of it. I’m not motivated by fame or money. I just want to get married, have a family, have kids. But I also want to do something with my life,” Malka says.

“We’re afraid of dying, that’s why we have religion. When you’re evolved past that, and you deal with this sparring thoughts, for me, you lived your life well. When we die, we want to leave something behind. One way to do that is through your kids, that’s why people want to get married and have kids. Another way is filling this gap and making a dent in the universe.”

Malka’s advice for beauty queen aspirants is to simply love themselves.

“Everyone can help you along the way—they can make you pretty backstage, fix your hair, dress you up. But when you’re out there on stage, you’re by yourself, it will show. The people will know if you’re confident, if you love yourself. And in life too you know, your aura will shine through. If you really accept and celebrate who you are, then it doesn’t matter who’s prettier. The love you radiate can be felt by the audience and everyone around you.”