How Sandra Bullock kept second adoption a secret

CEBU, Philippines - Sandra Bullock is good at keeping secrets.

The actress managed to keep her son Louis Bardo’s adoption under wraps until awards season ended in 2010, and she managed to keep her daughter Laila’s adoption until yesterday. Posing with her kids on the cover of People magazine’s December 14 issue, Bullock explains how and why she was determined to protect her three-year-old daughter’s privacy.

“From the ruse I had to construct so that Louis didn’t have to lie to his friends at school, to the stories I constructed for friends and coworkers as to why I was absent all the time, the subterfuge was pretty elaborate,” she says. “But there is always the chance that the bonding process wouldn’t happen or that the CPS [Child Protective Services] workers would feel I wasn’t a suitable match. So I had no problem lying and fabricating stories to keep things on lockdown.”

Bullock says she feared that the adoption process would be compromised due to the attention she receives. Keeping Laila hidden from the public eye proved to be a difficult an impossible, task. “It felt very much like witness protection,” she admits.

Until the time was right, Bullock had hoped to keep her family out of the news. She even went so far as to deny expanding her family during a press conference for “Our Brand Is Crisis” in October. The reporter who asked about her adoption news had most likely seen photos of them already, as she and Laila had been photographed during an emergency room visit before the adoption was complete.

“Unbeknownst to me, a photographer had followed us and taken a photo of us in line,” says Bullock, whose boyfriend, Bryan Randall, photographed the family for People. “The next day, I learned that a photo of her was being shopped around for sale to every outlet around the world. I had promised and legally agreed to protect her from something like this, and here I was chasing down lawyers—begging them to keep her safe—and tabloid outlets were claiming so many things that were inaccurate. All this just for money. I had to make sure CPS knew what was fact and fiction.”

“It was dangerous because you are asked to sign a confidentiality agreement stating that you will not release any photos of the child to a third party to protect their identity—and here I found myself in a position where her identity could be revealed,” she says. “I was sure she would be taken away. The one person who should be protecting her above all else had put her in harm’s way.”

As for that reporter who asked about her family? “Thank God I was asked the way that it was, because she wasn’t adopted at that time. So all I said was that there was only one adopted child in my home, and if there ever was a second child who was officially a Bullock, I would be screaming it from the rooftops. So at the end of November, National Adoption Month, the courts granted the adoption, and now I can officially stand on my roof and start screaming.”

Bullock has always valued her privacy, even more so since becoming a mother to Louis, 5. With Laila in particular, privacy became especially important. “Most foster children are in foster care because they were taken from their birth homes under tragic circumstances—and the last thing I wanted was to bring more harm to her because of the nature of my job,” the actress explains.

The movie star—who describes her family as “blended and diverse, nutty, and loving and understanding”—can’t imagine life without her two kids. “When I look at Laila, there’s no doubt in my mind that she was supposed to be here,” the Oscar winner, 51, says. “I can tell you absolutely, the exact right children came to me at the exact right time.”

Even though parents might be concerned about introducing a new child into the family fold when there’s already a king or queen of the castle, Bullock says that her son took to his sister immediately. “He grabbed her hand and dragged her into his playroom the first moment he met her,” she reveals.

“I think he was ready for her before she even arrived, and he knew exactly what to do as a big brother. He knew to be cautious and gentle.”

But like any siblings, that would soon change. After the adjustment period came and went, Louis became like any older brother: playfully aggressive. “Now that time has passed, it’s like the WWE.”

Now that she has a boy and a girl under her roof, Bullock admits she wasn’t specifically seeking out a girl but is thrilled to have one. She explains that many options presented themselves but never ended up working out. They happened to be all boys, but she didn’t mind. In fact, she remained positive throughout the highs and lows of the adoption process.

“I knew that we would find our family—we just needed to be patient,” she says. “So when Laila came into our lives, we just had to move over because she was coming no matter what, and she knew exactly how things were going to run.”

When she realized she would definitely be getting a little girl, her nerves kicked in because she always had a rocky relationship with her own mom. “The thought that a daughter of mine would be anything like I was scared me senseless,” she confesses. “But I am my mother’s daughter, and that has served me well. She didn’t want me to go through life shut down, afraid of feeling. Well, life has made sure I feel everything now, and I’m not ashamed of it anymore.” (FREEMAN)