Food, Glorious Food

Lately, I’ve been eating the same thing for breakfast: basil and white cheese omelette. It’s partly because I’m reducing my carbohydrate consumption, and largely because I’m growing basil in our little garden again. Apparently, nothing beats eating food you’ve grown—even if it’s just a leaf or two.

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with food. I love it when I put it inside my body and hate it when I try to make the excess weight go away. Believe me, though, if I didn’t have the excess weight and other related health issues to worry about, I’d have a serious, loving and committed relationship with chow. Just like Adam Richman of the Travel Channel’s Man v. Food, who goes traipsing across America, sampling humungous proportions of, er, local cuisine. Definitely a guy after my own heart. I’d propose marriage if I wouldn’t be so worried he’d get a heart attack.

My mother and I caught one of the special episodes of Man v. Food over the weekend: The Breakfast Edition, Volume 1. Adam’s on the hunt for the best breakfasts in America—and it seems like “best” is synonymous with “massive” here. I completely understood when my mom suddenly commented “I’m hungry” and went to the kitchen.

How can your appetite not be stimulated when you see Adam eating giant cinnamon rolls slathered with cream or a stack of pancakes that’s more like a cake drizzled with syrup and topped with fat strawberries? I’ll get to the fat slab of bacon in a bit.

Adam first heads off to the Stepping Stone Cafe in Portland, Oregon. This cafe is known for their giant steak and eggs, a two-pound omelette (it actually weighs something I can feel!), and their 13-inch (in diameter) pancakes. He goes into the kitchen to see how they’re made (my favorite part), attempts to make his own dishes, and then samples the goodies (my next favorite part). I don’t know if I’ll ever get through the pancakes, which are called Mancakes, but I’d definitely try. With a friend. Or two. Or five.

The next stop is something I’m not very hot about, not being a big fan of donuts. Adam goes to Round Rock Donuts in Texas for some two-pound donuts with a 14-inch diameter. Try dunking that in a cup of java. I got a sugar rush just looking at it.

After the donut, Adam moves on to Alaska. The Talkeetna Roadhouse is almost a hundred years old and is famous for their giant cinnamon rolls and equally gigantic sourdough hotcakes served with bacon. They also serve what they call the Roadhouse Standard: scrambled eggs, fries, extra thick peppered bacon, and home-baked honey whole wheat toast. Honestly, I’ll take the bacon and I’ll still be a very, very happy girl.

The final stop is what looks like cinnamon roll heaven in San Atonion, Texas, Lulu’s Bakery and Cafe. Their cinnamon rolls weigh two pounds and a half and are bigger than my head. I think I gained two pounds and a half just watching it being made.

Man v. Food is definitely not the kind of show you’d want to watch if you’re trying to lose weight like I am. But it’s good to check out once in a while to know what new sinful craziness the comfort food kitchen gods have concocted yet again.

It’s a nice break from the culinary reality shows that have been sprouting abroad and, more recently, here. Just don’t watch it on an empty stomach.

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