Seeking relationship help?

If you’re female and your answer to the question above is yes, then Tough Love could be the show for you.

I couldn’t sleep Sunday night, so I switched on the television, and I caught the replay of the VH1 reality show called Tough Love. In this show, host and matchmaker Steven Ward and his mother JoAnn Ward, also a matchmaker, work with “single and seeking to mingle” women who need relationship help. 

The replay I caught was of Season 1, Episode 1 and in it, Steve was working with eight women from their mid-20s to their late 30s. I have to admit that I found the concept interesting, being single at 33 myself.

The eight women appeared to be accomplished. All of them were beautiful. Save for Abiola, a Guyanese-American who said she had gained an extra 15 pounds, they were all physically fit. At first glance, there didn’t seem to be any reason why they weren’t in committed relationships. But, of course, we all know there’s more to it than just looks. Or, at least, after the men get past that.

The first episode was called, “What Men Really Think.” The episode highlight had the eight women parading one by one in front of three men, who were asked to give honest opinions based on the appearance alone. The girls were then asked to watch a live video of the men giving their feedback. What they heard wasn’t pretty at all, as the men expectedly gave one shallow comment after another. Words like “porn star,” “trashy,” “cheap,” “sad divorcee,” and “Satanic ritual” popped up. Ouch.

But as the host Steven was quick to point out, though: It may be shallow, but it’s the truth. Double ouch.

After they received the feedback and got past the understandable outrage and indignation, the girls were then whisked off to a makeover, and then to a social event that had them mingling with lots of good-looking eligible bachelors. This time, the objective was to give the ladies feedback from men, but based on their much-improved looks and their personalities. More of them got positive feedback this time, though the negative feedback still wasn’t pretty.

Something I picked up from Steven that I’m willing to consider: When it comes to men, you don’t get to make another first impression. It’s bad not to make any impression, but it’s even worse to make a bad one.

At the social event, one of the girls, Jacklyn, kept whining about her new hairstyle and her terrible “prom dress” attire. She also wasn’t facing the man who was talking to her. Steven said that was worse than the other girl’s performance that night—and none of the men she talked to remembered her!

Something else I picked up from Steven: Guys like a good cat fight, but nobody wants to date the cat.

In the van on the way to the event, a girl named Taylor wouldn’t stop talking, and another girl called her on it. They ended up having a heated discussion that had Taylor shouting, “You shut up!” several times. Well, yeah, if I were a guy, I wouldn’t want to date her either.

At the end of the episode, Steven chose the girl performed the tasks best and the girl who performed it worst. I was pleasantly surprised that his comments were actually useful. Jacklyn was worst, because she kept putting herself down in front of a guy she liked—and who liked her!

Abiola, who had shed tears over her extra 15 pounds, was the best for that episode, because one guy gave her what, according to Steven, was the highest compliment a guy could pay a woman: that she was a girl he could bring home to mother.

Seems like a reality show I could watch. Besides, I may just need the relationship help myself... though it’ll take me more than one episode to make an honest judgment.

Tough Love is produced by Drew Barrymore’s Flower Films. Email your comments to [email protected]. You can also visit my personal blog at http://althearicardo.blogspot.com. You can text your comments again to (63)917-9164421.