On "Burlesque"

I’m here in Dumaguete! I just had to say it, because it’s always a kick to be in the Visayas, especially in parts of it where the print edition of this newspaper is sold. That tidbit is not totally unrelated to today’s topic, though. On the plane on the way here, I read a magazine piece on Cristina Aguilera, who discusses turning 30 and her film debut in Burlesque.

In the article, Cristina mentions that when she and Britney Spears were around 12, they would go to her house and apply makeup techniques they picked up as child stars on each other. They would put tons more makeup than the makeup artists applied, she shares.

That explains why whenever I think of Cristina Aguilera, I also think “mascara and eyeliner overload.” Well, actually, not anymore. After watching Burlesque, I also think, “Thank God she waited for the right project to come along.” And, “Thank God she didn’t have as much eye junk here.”

I suppose my low expectations for the singer’s attempt to break into the movies were set by Crossroads, Britney’s first film. I’d always associated Cristina with her, because they were together in Disney’s Mickey Mouse Club.

It didn’t help, either, that before I watched Burlesque, I caught Glitter (Mariah Carey’s Crossroads) on Star Movies and completely hated it even if I loved all the singing scenes.

What I love about having low expectations, though, is that it gives you a lot of room to be blown away. And I was, with Cristina’s singing—and, I admit, her initial foray into acting.

In Burlesque, a musical, Cristina plays Ali Rose, a small-town waitress who moves from Iowa to Los Angeles to pursue her dream of singing. While looking for work, she comes across a burlesque club and falls in love with the concept.

First, a definition of terms. Burlesque is more often sexy, but it isn’t the same as stripping. The term is used to refer to artistic creations (in this case, musical numbers) that copy more serious works in a funny way.

When Ali talks to the owner, Tess (divinely portrayed by Cher), for a job, she is told to come when they hold the auditions. When that was going to be wasn’t clear because there was actually no spot for a new dancer.

The club bartender befriends Ali and gives her a job as a waitress as she waits in the wings. Then one of the girls get pregnant and Ali grabs the chance to show Tess her stuff. Tess isn’t impressed with Ali’s dancing but gives her a chance anyway.

I won’t ruin the film for you by saying how Tess gets to hear Ali sing, even if I am a hundred percent sure you’re going to know it right before the scene is shown. The trouble with the genius move to put Cher and Cristina Aguilera together in a film is that you just know the former is going to help the latter and the latter is going to succeed. There’s no point in deviating from the success formula.

Then again, while Burlesque is a predictable film, it’s the good kind where you don’t really mind and you still root for the people anyway. Besides, with Burlesque, you come for the song-and-dance anyway. That, of course, is what Cher and Cristina are good at.

I’d say it was a successful crossover for the younger pop star. Thank God she waited for the right project to come along, indeed.

As for Cher, well. What can I say? She’s already Cher. I don’t think anything she does from now on can top that.

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