84 Jezebels

In the news this week, some people working in the main city's session hall have apparently received their allocation of senior citizen hearing aids.  Now that their hearing has selectively improved, they have started complaining about the noise generated by motor vehicles with modified mufflers.  These government jezebels deem that any motor vehicle emitting a noise louder than 84 decibels is in direct violation of city ordinance 309 (Anti-Noise Ordinance).  According to the 309, it is unlawful for "any person to wilfully cause loud and deafening blast of engines of motor vehicles among others…"   Based on this premise, anyone who owns some semblance of an engine is screwed.  Why?  Let me explain. 

If you put together 84 and decibels on your preferred online search engine, you will find that this level of noise is comparable to listening to a diesel truck running at 50 kph from fifty feet away.  Now a government-issued garbage truck clocks in at 100 decibels.  That would mean every single government-employed garbage truck driver would be spending at least a month in jail for violating the ordinance they propose to put together.  Heck, any of us could land in jail for operating our washing machine (90 decibels).

Many may argue that their proposed ordinance will be focused on vehicles with modified mufflers that emit noise beyond 84 decibels.  The question is, what about vehicles with stock mufflers that emit sounds above 84 decibels?  What now?  Will all these "enforcers" go around with stock specification mufflers of all makes and models of vehicles which they will use to compare with every single running motor vehicle on the road?  I have yet to meet anyone in the traffic division that has as intimate a knowledge of all motor vehicle parts as that of the petrolheads I have coffee with on weekends.

I can imagine the argument car enthusiasts, environmentalists and the government would have over this proposed ordinance.  While every tree hugger would praise the government for reducing noise pollution, every petrolhead will be busy educating both the tree hugger and the government jezebels regarding how modified exhaust systems improve engine performance and fuel consumption.  A modified exhaust system may be noisy to some, but the fact that motor vehicles will be burning lesser fuel due to engine efficiency would amount to lesser carbon fuel consumption and emission.  Now government jezebel, when was the last time noise pollution contributed to global warming and bore a hole in the ozone layer?

I can imagine a further argument these jezebels would have with vehicle manufacturers who decided to put up shop in this growing metropolis.  Almost every vehicle manufacturer has a sports vehicle that emits more than 84 decibels with their stock mufflers.  So how do you keep these investors in business while choking them by penalizing their customers for buying some of their top of the line products?

While it is a good idea to try to lower the noise levels in the city to allow people to sleep at night, it is a much better idea for those who draft laws to study their proposals through and through and think of better ways to improve the city's road conditions, instead of going on a witch hunt.

Oh, and speaking of city road conditions, regular city traffic noise has been clocked at 85 decibels.  We're all under arrest.