To Our Beloved Wives

In behalf of all petrolheads who’ve been questioned, nagged and suspected by their better halves about having an affair, I boldly write this confession.  But first, I would like to ask for all our better halves to read through the whole article before they use this paper as the first blunt instrument they assault us with.  The reason for this request is because I will admit, from the get go, that we are having an affair. 

As difficult as it may be for some of you (our better halves) to accept, that special place in our hearts which we said is exclusively reserved for you, is actually shared with another whom we also love, care for, spend time and occasionally sleep with.  As this is a confession, I will put everything out in the open so that I can explain our suspected infidelity.

Some of us have had this affair way before we met our other halves.  Others started having an affair sometime into their relationship.  Whichever one it is, we admit to having one.  Remember when we were still dating?  Remember those times when we weren’t spending time together and I was out?  I was with her.  I proudly showed her off to my friends and bragged about her to high heavens.  And when the time came when we decided to settle down, I brought her to our conjugal dwelling without asking you.  Such was my love for her.

I care about her a lot too.  Remember those times you’d ask me where my money goes to and why I sometimes dig into our savings?  I will admit that some went to buying her fancy new shoes.  They were a little pricey but they were stylish and comfortable.   I also splurged on a few accessories to compliment her shoes. I take her to the salon and the spa regularly because I wanted her to look and feel great.  And yes, I even spent for cosmetic surgery and augmentations.  But what really drains the finances is when she gets sick.  I make sure to take her to a specialist all the time.  They’re more expensive than the other doctors, but I always want the best care for her.

I also admit to devoting a good chunk of my days off and weekends to her.  I know you sometimes wonder why I get up really early during my rest days instead of staying in bed.  It’s because I want to make sure I give her a little more attention than I usually get to do during the week.

My biggest confession is for those times when we have our little misunderstandings and you kick me out of the bedroom.  During those times, I find myself seeking comfort with her and spending the night with her.  Where else could I lay my head for the night?

But before you pass judgement, let me explain why we give our other woman the special love, care and attention she deserves.  You see, this other woman, our motor vehicle, is what takes you and the family to our daily destinations and back home safely.  The time we spend on them is to make sure the vehicle is road-worthy and reliable.

 And please do allow us to splurge a little on our vehicles.  Aside from making it look a little fancy, we do want to drive you around in a car that won’t break down and would have that little extra horsepower, handling and performance when we need to rush you to the delivery room for the new addition to our family.

Yes, that’s the lame excuse we could come up with to explain why we need to buy and install that new performance component in the car.  We love you dear.