The gossip department  

One office worker conversing with another said, “I am sorry I can’t tell you anything more. I have told you more than what has happened.”

Every time I run a seminar; I ask participants this question. Are gossips rampant in the workplace? Even without ending my question, they all would say, “Yes!” loudly with conviction. “And where do gossips thrive?” I would ask as a follow-up question, and people would say, “pantry and restrooms!” People love to talk. And people love to talk about people. This is why tabloids, magazines, TV programs, and social media posts make it their business to gossip about personalities. But to gossip about people and to gossip against people in the workplace is not a very professional thing to do. While it is a fact that people talk about each other, and in most cases, the conversation pieces are healthy, leading to stronger work relationships, however, when the talks shift to ugly rumors, these can negatively affect the office environment and create unnecessary conflicts.

Years ago, Robert Half International featured an article entitled: “What Kind of Office Gossip Are You?” I have taken the liberty to update it and add a few little comments of my own.

1. The Voice Recorder

You confess to a colleague that you’re worried about your supervisor, who hasn’t been very focused the last three weeks and has been coming in late to work. Later that day, you hear a version of your story from a different co-worker, and it’s not hard to figure out the source. The Voice Recorder takes your confidential conversations and plays them back to everyone in the office. The person’s motivation is often to feel important or “in the know” rather than malicious intent.

It would be best if you were on your toes when interacting with this person. Keep conversations focused on business projects and tasks. Small talk is fine, but anything you want to stay private, whether it’s about an upcoming date or your unhappiness with a new project, should not be shared with this individual.

2. The Marathoner

This is the co-worker who shows up at your desk or your virtual space and, even if you’re busy, insists on sharing all of the “juicy” news they heard – about a colleague, a co-worker’s sister, a boss, and the intern and even friends of friends you’ve never met. She will gossip over coffee in your cube that morning, bring up more information when you run into her in the break room and then try to engage you again when you both exit the building that night.

The best approach with the Marathoner is to cut her off at the pass. Try to change the subject when there is a pause in the conversation. You can also say you’re busy now and must concentrate on your work. If you do this enough, she’ll get the hint. If you have to talk to her for a business purpose, get the information you need and politely tell her you must get back to your projects.

3. The Double Agent

This individual play both sides. He gossips about the boss, then turns around and talks to the boss about you – and he’ll exhibit the same behavior with your colleagues. Unfortunately, a Double Agent’s secret is not usually revealed until you get burned by something you’ve shared with him.

If you’ve had a run-in with a Double Agent, your best course is to have a straightforward conversation about his actions. It’s best not to voice negative feelings about an individual or the company to this person. Be very cautious in what you tell a Double Agent, as he may even take a casual remark and twist it out of context. He may not change, but he’ll know you won’t be an easy target.

4. The Private Investigator

This individual shows up seeking information when the office is abuzz with speculation. For example, after a high-ranking employee has left the company, the official word from management is that the job will be awarded to an internal employee. However, this has been the only official word, and the Scent Hound is looking for more.

When dealing with the Scent Hound, your best move is to avoid guessing games. For example, answer honestly if a co-worker asks you about an open position. Say that you have no idea who will get the job, but you know that whoever it is will be well qualified. Most of all, avoid playing along by speculating about the situation. More information will encourage the Scent Hound to dig deeper.

5. The Complainer

This person regularly discusses his grievances with you – and everyone else in the office. While it’s natural to vent when you are frustrated, there’s a difference between confiding in someone you trust and complaining to anyone who will listen. This individual makes sharing candid thoughts a hobby: One week, he’s unhappy with Joe in accounting, and he’s surprised by Liz’s below-performance in marketing.

Since the Complainer thrives on interacting with other complainers, your best tactic is to resist engaging in the conversation when this colleague starts talking about his latest target. You’ll feed the fire if you say that you’ve also had issues with Joe in accounting, for example. You’ll likely take the wind out of the Complainer’s sails, however, if you begin discussing the positive attributes of the individual he’s discussing.

Regarding office gossip, think of how you’d like others to respond to hearsay about you. Diplomatically avoiding the workplace rumor mill is an excellent way to show your colleagues and manager that you are trustworthy, dependable, and professional. Let me just put all these in perspective. Get busy and concentrate on your work; shallow people talk about other people, but intelligent people talk about ideas. Even The Bible says, “God hates rumor-mongers.”

 

 

(Francis Kong’s podcast “Inspiring Excellence” is now available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or other podcast streaming platforms.)

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