What I learned from my participants

One of my key learning from a participant in one of my leadership seminars is when she said, “I have very little patience, and when someone falls short of my expectations I would think, ‘Why is this slow person wasting my time?’ When I call, I expect an answer right away.  When the response takes a long time, I lose my patience.”

And so I asked her, “What is the key learning that you got from this seminar?”

She said, “What I learned from you is that each one of us is an expert, but on different subject matters.  And I need to remind myself that there are no dumb people.”

There was a time when high grades in school indicated intelligence. When students came home with low grades, they were scolded and/or punished.

Then the workplace conducted a battery of IQ tests for applicants. I recall going through many of them. The general impression then was that high IQ meant the person would likely be an asset to the organization, and those that fared poorly in IQ tests were shown the door. I was. Many times in fact.

The measures of IQ and all those examinations have made people insecure. I was totally insecure. I could not figure out why others registered high, while I couldn’t even make it to average.

Report cards bearing low grades were equated to low levels of intelligence. You should have seen my report cards from high school. They were extremely colorful, with red as the predominant color. My parents were furious. My friends laughed at me. My teachers said I had no hope. And being the crazy kid with insufficient intellect, I looked at all those red marks and reasoned, “Red is the new black!” Red looks a lot more exciting and colorful than plain lifeless black, but my justification didn’t help. I was dubbed “the dumbest kid in school.”

I loved music. I loved poetry. I hated memory work. Until today I still do. I remember doing a commercial for an internal ad for a bank. Sixteen takes and I still could not memorize a paragraph of eight sentences. Finally, to everyone’s frustration, I offered a deal: “Would you allow me to just internalize the script and tell it the way I would without following the script?” Well what could they do? Everybody was exhausted. They said, “Yes, let’s give it a try.”
Guess what? One take! Got it done. Everybody went home, and of course, nobody from that outfit ever got me again to do another commercial.

I recovered in college. I discovered a system of study. I still hated memory work, but I internalized the learning, participated in recitation, made myself active in extra-curricular work, and graduated top of my class. Nobody expected that, least of all my parents and friends. But I did. I knew that I would do it.

What is not taught in school is the importance of attitude development. Students are not machines, yet many schools still behave like factories (with the exception of a very few.)

Many business organizations behave the same way. The people are seen as machines.  They are never trained in soft skills like leadership, values, work attitude and the like.

To say some people are dumb is not fair. Each one of us has different areas of expertise, but it is upon leaders, teachers, and parents to spot the unique talents of their charges, develop their abilities, and train them so the abilities become useful skills.

In other words, don’t let those IQ tests and poor grades from your report card make you think you’re dumb. Let those become lessons on which areas you will process, correct and change for you to become better.

God does not invent garbage, but you and I need to take responsibility in making ourselves valuable.  After all, no one can make you feel inferior, act inferior and be inferior without your permission.

(Spend two inspiring days learning leadership and life skills with Francis Kong as he presents Level Up Leadership this February 18-19 at the EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. For further inquiries contact Inspire at 09158055910 or call 632-6310912 for details.)