Mid-life woes?

Why do I keep getting the same remarks every time I greet somebody on his or her birthday, or when the New Year comes?

“Another year older…”

“Time passes so quickly…”

“Pretty soon I’ll be in my mid-life crisis.”

And so forth and so on.

Funny things have been written about mid-life:

• “Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly-acquired mustache.”

• One woman said, “In mid-life, women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.”

• “Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and see your rear end without turning around.”

• “Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and realize that it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless on film.”

• “Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm, young lovely in a tube top and scream, ‘Listen, honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those will too!’”

• “Mid-life brings with it the wisdom to know that life throws us curves, and we’re sitting on our biggest ones.

• “Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, cell-phone-totting teenager and think, “For this I have stretch marks???”

• “In mid-life, your memory starts to go. In fact, the only thing we can still retain is water.”

• “Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering the ‘big’ questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it’s no longer a healthy choice?”

• From one woman: “But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that everything sags, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile.  Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now for the body you had back then? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all of the wisdom and love we’ve acquired. That’s my philosophy and I’m sticking to it!

Now that’s what I call a healthy perspective on aging.

Young people keep wanting to look older, and old people keep wanting to look younger. Middle-aged people just keep looking for their reading glasses.

Mid-life doesn’t have to be a time of crisis. It is a time of appreciating the finer things in life and learning that life is a gift from God. 

Victor Hugo, titan of French literature, was once called upon to comfort a friend who had arrived at his 50th birthday and was depressed at the idea of growing old.

“You should rejoice, my friend,” Hugo told him, “That you have escaped your 40s, which are the old age of youth, and have at last arrived at the age of 50, which is the youth of old age.”

Let me share with you a prayer of a person who is in his mid-life experience. Perhaps this can help:

Lord,

You know better than I myself that I am growing older and will some day be old. Keep me from that fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out everyone’s affairs. Make me thoughtful, but not moody; helpful, but not bossy.

With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all, but You know, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end.

Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing, and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by.

I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of others’ pains, but help me to endure them with patience. I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility and a lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.

Keep me reasonable, sweet. I do not want to be a saint: some of them are so hard to live with, but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people. Give me the grace to tell them so.

When put in this light, being in mid-life becomes not so bad after all.

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