CEBU, Philippines — Good citizens make a good nation. No country ever gets somewhere better without good citizens making the way. National peace and prosperity is a collective endeavor.
Many parents hope their kids will learn to be good citizens by attending school; others believe that signing them up for a Scouts program will do it. These exposures help, no doubt, but what many parents need to realize is that good character is basically learned in the home.
There are fundamental values to good citizenship – respectfulness, a sense of responsibility, and resourcefulness being among the top ones. These values start in children the development of compassion, integrity, commitment, selflessness, and all of the other attributes that constitute good citizenship.
Respect for Others. Respect for others is a very important value in community life. Therefore, parents shall instill a respectful attitude in their kids. It may require discipline, when necessary.
Disciplining, though, shall be delivered resolutely, yet calmly; taking into account the kids’ point of view when making family decisions. And the parents’ actions shall be consistent with their own teachings. The parents themselves shall show respect for the so-called ‘first right of children’ – good government – by providing a well-run home.
A Sense of Responsibility. Former US President John F. Kennedy said: “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” Children shall be trained to have this sense of social responsibility by consistently being made to contribute to their families – by chipping in appropriate ideas on family matters and having their own assigned part of the home chores. Kids shall not be overly pampered or overindulged. In the long run, it is to the kids’ big disadvantage to not have the basic skills, because they weren’t made to do chores at home.
Overly pampered children will think that it’s possible to get something for nothing. But parents know that such mindset is not quite so in real life. Children who want to get something shall also learn to give something.
It is good for kids’ character development to work for whatever they want to have. Children shall learn to postpone gratification, tolerate frustration, and set long-term goals. These are all necessary attributes of good citizenship, to know that there’s a price to pay for anything one wants to gain.
Parental love is not necessarily about giving in to the kids’ every whim. A firm “no” every so often is good to say. It tells children that it’s not all the time that the world bows to them; it tells them that in life one gets what one deserves.
The child who wants to get good grades at school should study well. If he does something that turns out questionable, he shall answer for his action. A child that is responsible at home is most likely to become a responsible member of the community.
Resourcefulness. A resourceful person is not easily cowed out by adversity. And this trait is better started early in children. Children who are trained to handle appropriate at home learn to find options.
Resourcefulness can also bring on a positive attitude. Children who are resourceful will feel that there is a solution to every problem and that they can find a way to get any hitches fixed. Parents can encourage a positive attitude in their children by setting reasonably high goals and then providing the support and encouragement needed to reach those goals.
A resourceful person has a dynamic imagination. The more opportunities a child has for creative play, the more active the child’s imagination becomes. Parents shall provide the child plenty of opportunities for free play, and yet see to it that the kids do not overdo things, like excessive TV watching or video-game playing, which are inert and passive activities that do not encourage creativity.
Parents shall always bear in mind that their children don’t acquire good character and citizenship skills from hired babysitters or electronic devices. Parents have to play an active role in seeing to it that the very atmosphere at home encourages respect for others, a sense of responsibility, and resourcefulness. It all starts here. - Editha Manubat