CEBU, Philippines - It has been said that the first step towards finding the right person is being the right person. It follows, therefore, that one checks on himself or herself first before embarking on a quest to find the right life partner.
The following ideas are sure to help:
1)Do some soul-searching.
Know yourself. Before going out in search of someone to make you happy or your life meaningful, you first have to know what makes you happy or what to you is a meaningful life. What do you really want? How do you expect your life partner to help you get it? What are you willing to give in exchange for what you want to get? These questions may seem petty, but they can determine what kind of conjugal life you're going to have - happy or miserable. The letter "i" doesn't make any sense without the tiny dot at the top. It's the same in marriage; the little things that you'll have to go through together every single day for the rest of your lives are no small matter at all.
2)Have a bright disposition.
After knowing what it is that you really want and what lengths you're willing to go to get it, it's time to go full speed ahead. Don't hesitate to change certain things about yourself if need be. Keep on improving yourself; the effort it takes is always worth it.
Be positive in your thoughts and ways. Have a sense of humor, laugh at yourself if you have to. Do all you can to be the kind of person you yourself want to be with - that's most basic. Then study what it is that the object of your affection likes in a person, and make the necessary adjustments, if any, to be that kind of person. It is a curious person who would rather have dead serious, pessimistic company. If your beloved is that kind of person, then there may be a serious problem - not about you but about him or her!
3)Communicate openly.
In a subtle way, open up with the other person. Be observant of how he or she is taking every bit of yourself that you share - what you like or dislike, what you believe, your plans etc. You may not be 100 percent acceptable and certain changes may be necessary. But if you will have to totally change yourself in order to be good enough, slow down a bit. Marriage is supposed to be a love partnership, not a master-slave relationship. If he or she is not willing to meet you halfway, it means you won't be getting the necessary cooperation to make the union work.
4)Look for common interests.
At least there should be two things that you and your beloved like to do together. You don't need to be birds-of-the-same-feather through and through, for that is not only boring but impossible as well. Common interests help a lot when the marriage goes through some rough times.
5)Be considerate of the other person.
Just as important as opening up yourself to the other person, you need to know what he or she is really like. Go the extra length in discovering thoughts and feelings your beloved may not be openly expressing with you. Consider that his or her self-restraint may not be out of indifference, but out of fear of disappointing or losing you. But if you have been effectively expressing yourself to your mate, that you can take the truth about him or her, there shall be no more fear between the two of you.
Building a lifetime relationship is both a major and a very serious endeavor. Such relationship can only stand on solid foundation. (FREEMAN)