Real-life feng shui practice is so filled with drama and comedy! Here are the funny sides of my feng shui experience, to learn and laugh from:
Grocery feng shui.
Master, is the Bamboo outside the store okay?
Master: OMG, it should be the real bamboo plant not Bamboo the rock star's cintraboard lifesized standee!
Altar feng shui.
Look, Master, I have put "goya" as you mentioned over the radio!
Master: OMG, it should be "goya," the figurine of a carabao kid, not the chocolates! No wonder even your icons are full of ants!
Erap feng shui.
Erap: Master, is it true that my ears can give me long life, over hundred years?
Master: Yes, buddha earlobes mean good karma, long life!
Erap: But I told my previous master, I want only 99 years, no more.
Master: Why is that sir?
Erap: I didn't want to be called the man with two century eggs!
Lucky color feng shui.
Master is the color of our living room lucky na?
Master: Oh no! I prescribed avocado green, how come this is wine maroon?
Owner: Oh my! I thought avocado, I even asked the painter to copy the color of the avocado skin!
Fishy feng shui.
As Master entered Starbucks to deliver live arowana fish to grandma client waiting.
Client: (exclaims loudly) Master, you are here! Did you bring my mariwana?!
Shaky-Marriage feng shui.
Master, caught him five times already philandering. What should I do?
Master: Change husband.
Suddenly client embraced and kissed master.
Client (exclaiming): Yehey!
Dramatic feng shui.
Master: Maam, why do you put your husband portrait here above the toilet seat area? It's bad; you will flush him away from the house!
Suddenly, crying daughter enters with more albums and pictures of the dad.
Daughter: Mom, let's add all of these to be sure!
Mother: Master, I found out he has a mistress in Cebu!
Funniest feng shui advice ever:
Take time to laugh, look at the mirror!
Happy fun shui summer everyone! Cheers!