CEBU, Philippines - Can love really be just a pick-up line away?
Pick-up artists (PUAs) are expected to be at their fully charged state, being plugged on to their most-confident mode this Valentine's Day. They could use some gimmickry techniques like pretending to be street-smart interviewers gathering a piece of your mind on a not-so-hypothetical question: what do you think of girls kissing total strangers?
These PUAs who've probably had a kick from a five-day mental ingestion of Neil Strauss' "The Game" is out on a beta test this season when women are at their most vulnerable form. PUAs know that the hopelessly romantic and love-struck fools succumb willingly to the complications of the amoritis virus. There are just masochistic females among us who, though familiar with some of these Casanova-ic seduction and persuasion patterns, ward off immunization schemes offered to counterattack a potent pathogen, because they would rather spend the V-Day with a mouth-and-guts of a man, rather than be tagged "miyembro sa firing squad" (those on lonely hearts mode, the unattached, or their Valentinos on a runaway).
Recent studies mentioned that there is an increasing number of PUAs who would rather fish women, not meet, to boost self-centeredness. Other psychologists contend that this sub-culture, of the seduction community, in throwing PUA openers to ignite a conversation with girls/women is more of a manifestation of sexist behavior and not of congeniality and conviviality.
So, can we categorically say they are not for real? That they are out there more for the numbers game, and not really so keen about sparking a relationship?
Dr. Jeremy Nicholson, doctor of social and personality psychology, deals with questions on whether love is just one trick, technique, or a pick-up line away.
He explained that game, seduction, rules, and other approaches can make someone more likely to like you, love you, and want to take you home.
In his column posted on "Psychology Today" last Jan. 31 he pointed out that when all of the above factors work, they do so by tapping into some very basic, evolutionary and psychological mechanisms.
"Love, indeed, can be triggered like a reflex!" Dr. Nicholson stressed.
He mentioned that from a review of literature on pick-up artist theory and seduction tactics, the following take-home points are arrived at:
• Human courtship (dating, relationship, and sex) is a predictable process, with set stages of development. Everyone has the same feelings, in the same way, more or less. Both psychological research and pick-up artists concur. Although the labels change, some amount of attraction, comfort, and seduction are present in courtship development.
• Certain techniques of various types can elicit emotions and behaviors, which make relationship development more likely. It is possible to use specific strategies to increase your chances of love, relationships, and sex. Feelings of attraction, comfort, and seduction (lust) can be reliably triggered with specific techniques.
• However, more work needs to be done identifying those specific techniques and testing them. Therefore, even though the overall pick-up artist theory shows merit, all of the tactics they propose have not yet been scientifically validated.
So, Dr. Nicholson addresses the probable PUA target Valentine date to be wary. Thus, to raise a doubt about feely-touchiness and advances, to question motive of the PUA approach, to be cautious as where the peacocking would lead to.
"Buyer, beware!" he advised. "Some of what they (PUAs) suggest may not work, may be detrimental, may be counter-productive, or may even go against a variety of values and morals each person holds. In short, a specific technique may not work, may not work on a specific lover, may not work for you, or may not be right for your way of thinking." (FREEMAN)