CEBU, Philippines - I’ve finally figured out why there is a popular notion that traffic enforcers aren’t good at their jobs. It’s not that they aren’t good at it. They actually prefer not to do a good job. Having been very mobile the past few days, I’ve seen multiple situations that have convinced me that traffic enforcers intentionally do a bad job.
Situation 1: Them and us. Ever noticed how many scooters and mopeds drive recklessly by weaving in and out of lanes, running on the opposite lane, and double-occupy a single lane road? Have you ever asked yourself why you never see these brain-dead twits get flagged down and charged for violations? The answer is pretty simple. Many traffic and law enforcers ride scooters and mopeds. If they start flagging down fellow two-wheel drivers for these violations, they’re going to have to do the same thing to their fellow law enforcers. By not apprehending these two-wheeled disasters, they themselves can commit the same infraction without a guilty conscience.
Situation 2: Avoiding stress. It is bad enough that these enforcers are subject to the elements day in and day out. Their job also requires them to flag down and apprehend erring drivers. Now, not every person behind the steering wheel believes in Mahatma Ghandi’s non-violence principle. A good number of licensed drivers, when flagged down, have a tendency to act like they’re calling a customer service hotline complaining about bad service. They will yet and scream at the traffic enforcer just to get off the hook. And with a paycheck that isn’t worth the effort of listening to an irate traffic offender, the traffic enforcer would rather let the infraction go and save themselves hypertension prescriptions.
Situation 3: Fashion sense. I guess when the legislators of Diaper City were mandated to wear neckties with their barong tagalogs, they figured they had to get even. And what better way than to pair brown with orange. Because of the fact that the traffic lights all over Diaper City are broken, their traffic enforcers are required to control traffic manually. You’ve got traffic enforcers standing in the middle of intersections, cooking under the tropical sun, baking their skins dark brown. Mandate them to wear traffic cone orange uniforms, and you’ve got the best safety color combination since the black and yellow caution combo. And to make matters even worse, their complete uniform includes shorts and black knee-high socks. Either some city legislator has it in for these traffic enforcers, or the entire department lost a bet.
Whichever situation prompts these traffic enforcers to take their jobs less seriously, it all boils down to the fact that they want to equate their effort with their paycheck. Since they’re being paid peanuts, they’re going to put out work equivalent to that being done by a sedated elephant.
There could also be another reason why these traffic enforcers don’t do their job well. Some, apparently, are not aware of traffic rules and regulations. For example, Team Officer Rhea, despite your vehement protests, there is no such thing as crossing when you’re coming from the curb past the ‘T’ of the ‘T’ junction near the north bus terminal as you’re making your way towards the clunky wireless flyover. It’s called recklessly counter-flowing, and it’s a blatant violation of basic traffic laws.