Have you heard of Simeon Stylitis who lived in the 4th century atop a pillar to escape the hassle of family living? Many years later, Anatole of France decided to do the same thing. Not finding a suitable pillar, he opted for the kitchen table where he parked himself in a chair fully intending to spend the rest of his life in righteous meditation. But when the cook and the housekeeper, along with his wife, objected, he gave up on the whole experiment and wrote in his diary, "I soon perceived it is a very difficult thing to be a saint while living with your own family."
That’s the problem that still confronts us today! How can you be a saint when it’s so difficult to get along with some member of the family? Though it is not used as often as it should be, there is a family guide for survival–the Bible. Here God gives us a blueprint for the family. It’s simple but effective.
Make the foundation "faith in God", and build your home on it. The strength of a foundation determines how much of a storm the house can survive. When you have no spiritual foundation for your life, your marriage, and your family, the house can collapse when the winds of adversity blow. Upon a solid foundation, build four walls.
Wall #1. The wall of commitment. Here’s the attitude you should have: Affirm that "No matter what happens in this marriage, someway, somehow we are going to trust God for a solution." Divorce, though common today, should never be considered a way out. It only compounds the trouble.
Wall #2. The wall of communication. I put commitment before communication because if your commitment to the person you married is not strong, you just won’t bother to try to communicate or to share your heart at a deep and intimate level.
Wall #3. The wall of love. Like a fire that must be rekindled every morning when the coals burn down overnight, the fire of love in your marriage and family has to be rekindled every day through acts of kindness, through expressions of care and mutual support.
Wall #4. The wall of forgiveness. You never stand so high as when you bow the heart to say, "I’m sorry, forgive me."
What shall we use for a roof? Nothing can be any better than the grace of God, freely given and completely undeserved. How do you explain the grace of God? To me it is the loving, awesome God reaching down and putting His strong hand of protection and care on the members of my family, guiding, protecting and sustaining.
Have I described your family? Escaping from the family as did Simeon Stylitis isn’t the solution. But finding the grace of God to cope, is. The blueprint still works.
Resource Reading: 1 Corinthians 3:10-23